What Have You Learned Today?

I am terrified by how accurate his thoughts portray my days.

I am often boggled by how to measure how well-spent a day of my life is. When my life was more active (read: less secluded) than it is now, I used to think that for as long as I was making great memories, my life was being lived fully. We put meaning into our days by having endless conversations over overpriced cups of coffee, and defined ourselves by the activities we set time for.

Now, I am at a point in my life where I get so little human interaction and outdoor exposure that I find that it is impossible to quantify my days in the way I used to. Now, what I look to in order to say that I have successfully lived that day is to ask myself "What have I learned?".

Yet even with such a lowered bar I find so scary that given all the time I have, I seem to learn so little with everyday I am alive. It terrifies me that if left to my own devices I will have spent majority of my life wasting away with nothing to show for it. Today, what I have learned is that I spent so much of my days just trying to get over myself, and as a result even when I achieve that I end up doing nothing at all. What am I doing?