birthday blues

so i turned a year older a couple of days ago. when a good friend overseas asked me how it was, i told her that it was a mishmash of nice - dare i say even surprisingly pleasant - so-so ish and heartbreaking. to me it exactly was that. i don't know what it is about birthdays (or maybe it is just me) that suddenly make us believe that if we can celebrate it the way we want we can get a handle on the days after that and live our lives exactly as we choose?

when deciding how i would be spending my birthday, my immediate response was that i didn't want a party with lots of people there. i didn't ask for anything, in fact, from anyone. to not have a party was my one birthday wish. but the forces-that-be spoke, and so i had a party, which i boycotted (with notice).

but i am glad that my birthday began with some pleasant things, which i hope will be current in the days to come. as the clock struck midnight, i was watching videos at home with my mom and eating my favorite burger. yes, a burger at midnight. a video at home. such simple pleasures that are the few things that feel like me.

but the actual day of it began with a sacrifice. i had intended to spend my morning getting pampered (i had denied so much pampering of myself when i was suffering through law school because i didn't feel like i deserved it), but against my hedonistic instincts, i acquiesced to going with my mom to represent our company at a cheese tasting event for local businesses. it turned out to be a lovely surprise. by the end of it, i was full and caloric from cheese, and from the loveliness of being surrounded in 5-star luxury.

a plate of cheeses all for me!

some of the pizzas we tried. I think this is the triple pesto (pesto base, pesto jack cheese, and fried basil on top!) and the asian style pizza with dried shrimps and sriracha (strange but edible)

this was an interesting pizza topped with apples?! and cumin flavored cheese. interesting, but not my favorite

this was what i liked the most! another strange pizza topped with a port wine reduction and creme fraiche and chives. delish!

this was my fangirl photo with mark todd aka the cheese dude. he lives the life! he tastes cheese and travels around the world to talk about it for a living! i wish i could have photographed him with his funky chef pants. wanted to make a comparison to mario batali but i wasn't sure if he liked him!

a plate stacked with cheese based goodies after the whole demo. gaaaahhh.

yes, this is where i spent the start of my birthday - had to photograph the lovely lobby of makati shang, natch.

since i am a frivolous person now, i decided to leap into my 29th year wearing a tutu that i found from the ukay-ukay. love.

some things went south after that, but here are some other snippets:

flowers and bling from a, a good friend, and tibok-tibok ice cream!

was finally able to have dinner at Zucchini, which I have been dying to do for years
Australian veal cheek risotto

food, wine and conversation with my oldest friend. it almost felt like we were grownups.

for dessert, a prune and port souffle for me, and gorgonzola ice cream for z.

i left out the not so nice parts, because ultimately, that's not how i want to remember my birthday. maybe it was childish to believe that even for just one day you could get everything you wanted and do anything with reckless abandon. suffice it to say that much like life, even in birthdays, unpleasant things happen. so my birthday was not all blue, maybe depending on where i stand, i can see the rainbow in it, if i look really, really closely.