the dream

I used to always say that Christmas is my favorite time of the year. In fact, I love it so much that I start making new Christmas music mixes in January. Except that this year is turning out to be so different from what I expected it would. I feel so paralyzed with fear this year.

And so whilst in Christmases past I would make lists of Christmas gifts I wished people would give me, this year, because I don't really feel much like celebrating, I would just like to put out a few dreams into the universe.

The thought came to me as I was talking to a friend, talking about dreams. And I realized I've been rattling off dreams anyway - might as well say it out loud.

There is the dream of someone else. I heard this from You've Got Mail, obviously, but hearing it over and over again struck a chord in me again - giving me a sense of hope that I just haven't met him yet. But he exists. Someday, we will cross paths.

There is the dream of living somewhere far from here.

There is the dream of waking up and going to bed without having done anything other than your own agenda.

There is the dream of discovering the thing that I love to do. Of shaping my days into exactly the way I dream it could be.

There is the dream of being truly known by someone.

For all its worth, even as I am pondering the idea of selling out momentarily, I do believe these dreams can come true. In my lifetime, even. I really hope I wake up to them and that by then they won't just be dreams.