at least, i say so. hahaha.
so list of things i did today:
morning: attempted to wake up at 8, and i did, but then fell asleep again and woke up at (my true wake up time of) 9:30. attempted to study, but as i woke up with a splitting headache, had breakfast and waited for the headache to pass. till like NOON.
attempted to study again. since today is the first day of freedom and liberation. but it is very disconcerting actually studying in a quiet house when you are so used to my mother screaming at everyone 24-7. they all left for the province and i am left here at home. alone. for the first time in my whole entire 22 (soon to be 23) years. since i realized that i wouldnt be able to study while it was so quiet, i turned on the tv and discovered that it was the gilmore girls marathon! and so whilst i attempted to read crim provisions, finally got to catch up on my backlog (of episodes, not provisions, sadly).
but what a joy to be able to watch gilmore girls non-stop. i had forgotten how much i wanted to study at an ivy-league university. rorie deciding on whether to go to yale, harvard or princeton made my stomach churn. i wished it was a decision i could still make for myself. and i wished i could begin another adventure like that. and it made me confused on whether what i wanted was her education or her lifestyle. the whole small-town, stars hollow thing is such a picture. makes you want to jump right in. because life was simple and people were not as complex.
sometimes i think i could live in a town like that working as a bagger at the grocery shop and not care. hmm. how's that for a lifestyle change?
i wonder when that time will come, when i will finally know what i really want and the answers i need will come to me. 23? i hope so. im not sure if i should be moving on with this whole law school thing or if i should be in search of a new vision. what scares me is pulling through for the long haul only to realize ive been wasting time.
and so, you cannot have been reading this whole time without realizing that i would be turning 23 a few days from now, on march 30. and thinking about how i spent this whole day, made me realize other stuff i wanted, for my birthday and for the entire year to come.
a weeklong birthday celebration
ooh. gilmore girls had a whole thing planned for lorelei's birthday and it was everything i loved. a birthday message spelled on the table in mallomars. facials with girlfriends, a massage, and a kicking party to top it off. but as my luck has it, my birthday had to be on final exam week, so not much luck on that happening. but am excited anyway. i think.
but seriously, a facial would me fabulous. not to mention much-needed. look like the moon woman now.
to take classes i really look forward to. creative stuff like i used to take.
to get motivated. a business is something ive really been trying to think about. put my skills to work. except i lack the know-how and the capital.
to be more assertive. with everyone around. i want to stop being the doormat.
to take a dance class. hahaha. really specific. but i really do! if i could, i would probably join a musical or something.
perhaps 7 hours of gilmore girls and criminal law provisions has made me a little loopy. will see if i feel the same way in the morning.
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