feet on the ground

this whole 22 thing has been consistent in the lesson i should learn: get your head out of the clouds and have your feet firmly planted on the ground.

the whole 21 thing, to my recollection was to get hold of my dreams, and it was one of the most exciting years to come on by. graduated, lived in a hotel for a month, met the most amazing people whilst being paid to work in malacanang and live in a hotel for a month, worked in advertising, lived in new york, and reached for the farthest star by taking the Law Aptitude Exam.

and then Law School began. while i am not complaining (outrightly) about the surprise that is law school, i must say that it is so so far from what i expected it would be.

while the people are great and the conversations are good, this is the most ive been humbled i think. emotionally, physically, intellectually.

going into law school, you realize that you cannot be the smartest, and your cramming skills will do you no good. ( well, maybe a little good ) but i never realized going into law school just how much like high school it would be. IT IS SO small. and cliquish. there are SOSYAL frats and jolog frats. one of the things i will remember about it is going into it feeling grotesquely inadequate physically. you suddenly hear people talking about "the prettiest girls in the batch" and "the best dressers" and how "really pretty girls and really cute guys" would "most probably go" to THE SCHOOL in rockwell. Q: bakit ang mga babae sa UP parang Supreme Court? A: KASI PAREHO SILANG WALANG APPEAL. a joke i will never forget. probably because i am still waiting for myself to begin laughing. there are people who will never ask your opinion regarding a case because they do not think you are smart enough, or are not expecting the correct answer from you. there are crabs and there are friendlies, genuinely nice people and people who are nice to you because they need things. there are people who think they are better than everyone else, and people who, like me, question everyday why they are there, whether or not they belong. whether or not they want this badly enough. sometimes i feel like i am going into bondage when i enter malcolm hall. but i steel myself, take a deep breath, and go on in anyway.

maybe i do want this badly enough. but certainly, my feet are on the ground.

and how ironic is it that i have the mostest biggest zits in my entire life now that im getting older? ugh. i feel practically pre-adolescent. let's hope that theyre gone 8 days from now.