the end of an era

last weekend, one of my best friends, anna, got married. it was a fabulous ceremony. a wonderful wedding.

funnily, it didn't occur to me that she was getting married for real till the night before the wedding. i couldn't sleep thinking about how the change in hers would affect my life. anna getting married made me realize for the first time that im in that era of my life too. gosh. dancing around, dipping my feet in the pool of them-who-shall-be-next. 

its difficult to imagine that i will never have one of those single-girls-who-date-about conversations with anna. we will never be in the same boat. will she still be able to understand my rants about the average-everyday-male we were so used to before she met dy? deb and i were talking the other day about how our roles in anna's life would be different now, and how lost we both felt in all this, but i told her i thought all the more that this is the time when anna would be needing us to be the same, the one constant in a period that's all about changes. but i'm happy for her, so it's okay. like deb said last friday, anna's getting married is a testament that all our dreams have a hope of coming true. 

what's weird is, im not at all too excited about my turn. in my head it's a given that it's not coming. and to me that's okay. deb says this is the start of a long slew of conversations to rehabilitate what's left of my optimistic side. it comforted me in a way. anna getting married has made me see that deb and i are more similar than i once thought. in a span of two weeks, she's become such a good friend. its the start of something new.

but anna married. it really is the end of an era. im going to miss us.