i came across this article today and found it to be most interesting. the author in the article (posted in full below) said that in dealing with self-knowledge, the truth can be a soul-sapping drag.
i agree. it really does wonders - because sometimes, the truth can be overrated, and because sometimes, self-delusion is really the only way to keep yourself going.
indeed, in most cases honesty may be the best policy - but it is that sheer obstinateness to be defeated by apparent facts that indulges "obvious" failures into believing that they will soar. and so they reach for the stars. and sometimes, they are lucky enough to touch them with their bare hands.
though it is true that there will be times when even the most well-placed delusions don't work in the way that we want them to, they sure as hell work well enough to make us get up in the morning, put one foot in front of the other, and try for another day.
this isn't a novel idea though. the way the idea is packaged may sound new, but tens of millions out their have been using this trick to help them get through the dreariness of everyday life since time immemorial. you may have heard/used these lines yourself without even knowing it.
top 10 delusions we repeat to ourselves/give to others to spare our/their feelings:
10. inggit lang yun sayo.
9. di bale, mas maganda/gwapo ka naman sa kanya.
8. it's not you, it's me.
7. i don't deserve you.
6. siguro bakla/lesbian siya. (it turned out to be true more than once in my case)
5. type talaga ako nun, he/she was just intimidated by my personality. hahaha.
4. i bet he's/she's still not over me.
3. my grades don't define me. (hahahaha. spoken like a true bitter law student.)
2.
1.
okay, so that's not ten - i had a lot of difficulty thinking about other stuff. what are the others, in your opinion?
in any case, when you feel like you need it...by all means indulge! go and delude yourself to happiness! definitely beats just grinning and bearing it.
for those who are curious, here is the article in full
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The Endorsement: Self-Delusion
Whoever said honesty is the best policy needed a reality check. A.J. Jacobs on why you should lie to yourself.
By A.J. Jacobs
Of all the overrated things in the world — sex on the beach, John Updike — the most overrated is the Truth. The Truth has its uses, yes, but it should be approached with extreme caution. Especially when dealing with self-knowledge, the Truth can be a soul-sapping drag.
My love of delusion crystallized when I learned about a psychological theory called depressive realism. This holds that the people with the most accurate view of the world are the clinically depressed. Studies show they have a correct perception of how much they control the outcome of events — namely, very little. (Not all scientists buy this theory; but they're probably just deluded.)
More recently, I read the article in this very magazine about Dennis Kucinich. The man actually believes he's going to be president someday. Which is an astounding feat of self-delusion — and, I'm convinced, the only thing that keeps him going.
Self-delusion is not a defense mechanism or coping technique. It's the most human thing we have. It's faith, existential courage, essential to mixing a decent drink, loving our spouse, writing a sentence. It's what separates us from the animals and the boring.
I'm not just advocating positive thinking; I'm advocating a willing suspension of reality. Irrational exuberance. It's not a matter of seeing the glass as half full or half empty. In reality, the glass is usually 5 percent full and 95 percent empty. But you have to force yourself to believe that it's half full so that you can engage and try to solve problems and bring the real percentage up to 10. Because otherwise it'd drop down to zero, and Kucinich probably would have spent his life as a Christmas elf at Macy's.
Embracing this idea has made my life infinitely better. Recently, I had to give a speech at a conference. The speaker before me was 82-year-old comedian Jonathan Winters. The emcee introduced Winters as the best thing to happen to comedy since Aristophanes. He got two standing ovations and a video tribute. He approached the podium using a cane. He made some cunnilingus jokes. Objectively, an octogenarian comic legend making oral-sex jokes is impossible to follow. And if I had accepted reality, I would have faked an allergic reaction and skipped my speech.
Instead, I made the conscious decision to delude myself. I told myself that the crowd would find me just as entertaining as Winters. And because of this confidence — 100 percent manufactured as it was — I didn't bomb. There were no standing ovations, but I wasn't pulled off with a cane.
We need this false bravado more than ever. Deep down, I believe planet Earth is in the worst shape in human history. I really do think that we are living in the End Times. I believe there's no way to stop H-bombs from shrinking down to the size of fingernails or prevent global warming that will turn Boise, Idaho, into a coastal city. But I'm going to remain in denial and do what I can. It's the only slim chance we have of saving this doomed — make that resilient — world.
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