attempting to make my head go quiet.

its been a while hasn't it?

for the most part, i just feel really lost. like somewhere along the way i lost sight of what it was that i was supposed to be working towards.

perhaps it was confusion about him, perhaps it was loneliness at the thought that my best friends in the world are moving on one by one, and the growing thought that there will be no one left who understands me. but in all honesty, i just feel alone. different, and not in a good way.

but i want my head to grow quiet. ive been so anxious this entire month running around like a headless chicken, trying to learn but not learning, trying to try but not trying.

but i want the universe to know that i am still grateful. for big things, for little things. even for the things that caused me pain or discomfort.

so THANK YOU UNIVERSE!

for making things in our house more tolerable again.

for giving us good help whom we can rely on.

for giving me Baby even if she wipes me out every week. we shall have our adventures, you and me.

for giving me at least one person who asked me if i was okay.

for giving me funny incidents to make me forget.

for letting me find a barkada that i truly felt i belonged to in law school (although i will miss them terribly)

for my health and my safety.

for groups of friends who keep me grounded.

for the hope that the future brings.


for now these are all i have to cling on to.

if you see me walking and though i look like crap or like death on wheels, please just GIVE ME A HUG. i need it.