we didn't have a lot of dances. and even outside of school sanctioned activities, i never really went to a good deal of dances. and, EVEN when i did, growing up, i spent a whole lot of them standing on the sidelines, watching shy girls get approached by lanky boys, shaky hands extending, slow smiles spreading across sweet faces. and, in every one i went to, there i was, standing on the sidelines pretending not to care, observing everything around, observing my shoes, trying hard not to let the tears roll down my cheeks. pretending i was okay being alone there. the wallflower. i knew why i was alone, yet, i couldn't for the life of me do anything to change it.
years away from high school dances, i find myself still in the sidelines. standing alone. not dancing.
yet i love to dance. except nobody knows.
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