i wasn't expecting to be home today, but here i am, NOT in cebu, and again with nothing to do.
i think its just the right time to reminisce via my overstuffed and disorganized organizer of my life circa 1997-1999. tells you a lot about how i was...and surprisingly...still am.
i find it is filled to the brim with little notes and reminders to myself...and lists that i made.
one listed on a tell-tale pink paper reminds me of things i thought VITAL to my survival in college. (and a testament to how mababaw i really was as a senior in high school)
IA'S COLLEGE MUST-HAVES
blowdryer (check)
cd player (check)
cellphone (check)
high-heeled boxy-preppy shoes (check)
binder ----
2 more pairs of bootleg pants (check)
sleeved shirts (at least 15) (check)
big black bag (check)
big brown bag (check)
decent pair of shades (check)
small brown bag (check)
kikay kit (check)
at least 2 pairs each of black and brown shoes (check)
black comfy sandals (check)
handgel ----
clip (check)
pager ---- hehehe. hindi na ako inabot nito
coin purse (check)
key chain (check)
goodgod. maybe this was the time when i was starving myself...because i was verging on 100 lbs. i must have been lightheaded and delusional from hunger. i was beside myself laughing! never mind my books, etc. THESE WERE WHAT I NEEDED TO SURVIVE AS A BIMBO IN COLLEGE. hay.
moving on to the other stuff.
many little poem cards etc. and name tags specially done for me by my good friends. and many, many, calling cards also.
one which stands out says:
"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." -- Philippians 4:13...this was a gift card given to me by a YFC girl whom I hosted before.
another is a note from my friend Lala, whom i performed with on the road tour of Bagong Silang the Musical (on the road for a month all over the Philippines) -- "IA! wala lang. sana itigil mo na ang kalokahan mo. sana makadikit kita. labs, Lalay."
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, in all your ways acknowledge Him, and he will make your paths straight." -- Proverbs 3:6 ... a gift card from Deb way before we were close.
aaaahhh. and letters from my glory days. hihihi. mga sulat sa akin ng mga crush ko. hay. now all i get in the mail are letters from the Honor Societies and American Universities i was applying to before I was going to law school.
ahh, but we come across a relevant piece of history. another list (hopefully one that can redeem me from the incriminating one above) with 101 wishes i wanted for that year and for my entire life. My prosec (personality development) teacher asked us to check stuff we accomplished as we went on with our lives. so here goes...
My 101 Wishes
1. i wish i would be closer to my mom
2. i want to go to Europe and maybe study there if i really
like it
3. i want to go back to US and Canada
4. i want a car for myself when i get to college
5. that i will really be bonded with my loveteam (read:yfc
group)
6. that even once, someone notices me because they find me
pretty
7. that i lose all of my skin problems
8. that i can finally learn how to wear my hair properly
9. that i get a phone in my room
10. to pass both UP and ateneo with the courses that I really
want
11. that i get closer to my brother
12. that i become at least 5"6. (asa pa)
13. that i lose weight (hay. and then i was like...105 lbs.)
14. that i have a really steady set of friends na i can just
be with all the time
15. that I get over R. if it's not meant to be (have i?)
16. someone really special to fall for me (hmm...may special
ba dun??? parang wala. hehehe)
17. ah. a really special man of God who is (choke) stable, and good-looking, and emotionally strong to marry me (so...i Do believe in marriage pala)
18. a degree in Law (OOOOHHH! proof i really did want it!
19. regular spending allowance for myself when i want new stuff
20. spending allowance for gimmicks
21. HAHAHA. this is funny. a cute boyfriend by the 2nd sem of the 2nd year in college (well, we can all hope. but we know how that turned out. bigyan ba ng ultimatum ang sarili?)
22. for my face to look good kahit na walang makeup
23. for me to be poised yet fun. (hehehe. i am the reigning and resident dulas queen. having fallen on my butt in front of every frat tambayan in the UP campus)
24. high recognition when i graduate (high school...well, pwede na rin)
25. (choke. kahit na nakakahiya ilalagay ko na rin) a modelling career. san ka pa? hooboy. pag nagra-rugby ka nga naman.
26. a nice apartment.
27. a nice house when I'm married.
28. beautiful, smart and nice children -- when I'm married to the right guy and NOT a day before
29. a pager and a phone.
30. latin honors when i graduate college (CUM LAUDE!!! wooohhoooo!!!)
31. CD player and radio in my room (kelan na nga ba ako nagkaron nito?)
32. cable TV in our house (because when we transferred to the new house we didn't get it till like, 6 months after)
33. a video library (i have a F*R*I*E*N*D*S library and sex and the city...pwede na ba yun? Ü)
34. active college life (hehehe. thanks to my friends)
35. high paying job in Makati or in the States (i got a paying job in Makati. not high, but high profile i suppose. which i QUIT. YEHEY!)
36. for the Gs to go away and leave us in peace
37. that i get rid of my ugly habits
38. to readily forgive those who hurt me
39. to have a complete kikay kit ( i think...i have achieved it. hihihi.)
40. to have an up-to-date wardrobe that never goes out of style. (hihihi. anlandikotalaga.)
41. to finish my cross-stitch (i never did. but, i paid someone else to finish it. hehehe)
42. to be part of the editorial staff of the College school paper. (it no longer became a priority. and i stopped wanting to be elizabeth wakefield. hihihi. was part of cooler groups! woohoo! BROADGUILD!!! YFC!!!)
43. to have a good hairdryer
44. less porma and pa-cool and backbiting in the world
45. the ability to be secure in being alone (after 4 months alone in new york...ive come to like it Ü)
46. less pressure from my parents (now i dont really mind the pressure. i thrive on it. hayop.)
47. to be a fantastic dancer ( because i am a dancer. mwehehee. a belly dancer)
48. to be a fantastic piano player
49. to be the lead singer of a band (hay.)
50. to have a fun debut (i wanted it pala)
51. to write a bestseller
52. to bake when i want to and not get fat. (uhmmm...)
53. to be seen as a multi-talented person (maybe when i pretend to be somebody else....like deng. mwehehe)
54. to be someone like Cheche Lazaro if i end up not going into law (but hwatabout my favorite karen davila?!) hihihi.
55. to paint and draw really really well. (does one exhibit count? i did have one in the not so distant past. in discovery suites. protege)
56. to have a really nice first kiss (feeling phoebe sa friends Ü)
57. to stay at a hotel with my friends whenever (i lived in a hotel for a month! i never even thought mafu-fulfill ko to! kewlio. pyfps...pi, jolly good!)
58. to have a very fulfilling prayer life
59. to be in great shape even when i have kids
60. to be fairer ( now, ayoko na. negras rule!!! deng and chely!)
61. to be an active part of CFC (uhmm. singles nga hindi ko matapos eh)
62. walang 62! nagskip! syet.
63. to have all the bags i need (and for more, you can call me baglady)
64. for my family to have a fun holiday in Baguio (odiba? baguio lang gusto ko puntahan nun. but read: really enjoyable)
65. to go on a shopping spree in Hongkong like we used to
66. to have a surprise party with all my friends and all the stuff i want. (hihhi. i remember the surprise where my friends hid in my bathroom for over 30 mins. sorry po!)
67. to be able to teach little kids like that girl on TV, Lani da Silva (ang dami ko naman careers na gusto)
68. i wish i had doors in my bathroom (the major one is there, but no shower curtain still. hihihihi)
69. a jacuzzi!
70. for me to stop shaving my legs, and all the hair to just stop growing. forever.
71. to be friendly and popular in college. (ehehehe. im like, an elizabeth wakefield wannabe)
72. that i do something truly meaningful for myself, my family, and for others
73. that I pass the Bar with high scores and in only one take
74. the ability to act convincingly ( i wonder why i wanted this? )
75. good time management (to have time for everything i want. hmm. parang sabog pa rin ako)
76. that me and my husband will live to see our grandchildren get married.
77. to be an executive-type (hihihi. now i want not to be so much of that)
78. that i get over my asthma ( hoooboy. pant pant pant)
79. aircon in my room (yeheyyy!)
80. to spend a week out of town with my friends (have i? i want more!!!)
81. that i be physically fit even when im old (hay. im not fit now. pano na yan?)
82. that my family goes out to eat always ( like...now, i think ive eaten too much.)
83. that i always have money for gas (i think...i always did naman. when i drove pa)
84. that i have a boutique or a store of some sort thats successful
85. that i have a fantastic relationship with my kids
86. that i become computer savvy (hihihi. i cried working on excel when i was still in starcom. pakshet. pano ba i-unhide???!)
87. for my crushes to be reciprocated (hihihi. im like, an adorable girl...flutter flutter)
88. that i dont end up with those old ladies who loooovvveee D.I.s and ballroom like crazy.
89. a rich yet purposeful lifestyle/life
90. to be able to take my parents to wherever they wanna go.
91. to be able to pay for my brother's schooling
92. to be married as a virgin to the person i love most
93. to have all the shoes i want! (hehehe)
94. to be able to love unconditionally
95. to win at something great
96. for me to have the guts to be the leader in big things
97. that i could do something worthwhile and relevant for streetkids
98. that my parents will live to see my kids get married
99. that my loved ones will find financial stability
100. that i can build fantastic relationships
101. --- im saving this for the best wish ever. i have yet to find out what that is.
when i read the list, i find that i am not as different from then as i expected myself to be. but whats different now is that im fine with it.
makapal pa tong filo ko...more lists next time! what a way to spend the day. hope it inspires you to make lists of your own!
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