blur

everything is a blur now. especially when i don't have my glasses on. (the constant butt of jokes in our little chungkua federation)

but since school started, everything goes by so fast. my study time. even the classes (when im not worried i will be called). its the middle of the sem already!

updates on:

my current state of mind:

no longer maniacally depressed, but steeling myself from becoming all hopeful again. more realistic.

a bit depressed with how my grabbing off the spoon turned out. but then again, i expected more of a rejection than that. maybe some people are really like that.

my current state of heart:

bleak. no reason to dress up. no reason to be brilliant. no reason to wake up in the morning all giddy and smiley.

do i believe it will be this way forever? i dont know.

my current thoughts on the state of my friends:

happy. with everyone.

zarah is all european and writing me in bikinis from beaches, from inside the sistine chapel. im so happy shes happy. she deserves it so much.

anna is going to have a little annette! (my suggestion. well, i think its better than zimelda. hehehe) but a little wolfette to train! how wonderful.

gail has already found a job, and a better-paying one at that. i can only hope she doesnt get as stressed as she was at her old job and that she is able to provide for all of her family's needs now.

k is taking her masters, which is always good, and it seems, she is happier with everything that she is learning.

many disappointments on my part though.

barely making enough to pass. not studying when im supposed to. not really doing anything to improve my overall attitude and psyche.

hooboy. people are getting married at 23. and here i am getting all...

blegh.