its been a while hasn't it?
for the most part, i just feel really lost. like somewhere along the way i lost sight of what it was that i was supposed to be working towards.
perhaps it was confusion about him, perhaps it was loneliness at the thought that my best friends in the world are moving on one by one, and the growing thought that there will be no one left who understands me. but in all honesty, i just feel alone. different, and not in a good way.
but i want my head to grow quiet. ive been so anxious this entire month running around like a headless chicken, trying to learn but not learning, trying to try but not trying.
but i want the universe to know that i am still grateful. for big things, for little things. even for the things that caused me pain or discomfort.
so THANK YOU UNIVERSE!
for making things in our house more tolerable again.
for giving us good help whom we can rely on.
for giving me Baby even if she wipes me out every week. we shall have our adventures, you and me.
for giving me at least one person who asked me if i was okay.
for giving me funny incidents to make me forget.
for letting me find a barkada that i truly felt i belonged to in law school (although i will miss them terribly)
for my health and my safety.
for groups of friends who keep me grounded.
for the hope that the future brings.
for now these are all i have to cling on to.
if you see me walking and though i look like crap or like death on wheels, please just GIVE ME A HUG. i need it.
Monday, January 28, 2008
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Dahil 100 Years Ka na UP!
I glimpsed this from Fria, and felt a compelling urge to answer. The four years I spent in undergrad as a true blue Iskolar ng Bayan were the best 4 years of my life.
Law school in UP is...interesting, for the most part. But in many ways UP Law is an entirely different animal.
So as a tribute to the good old days...
Maligayang ika-100 taon, mga Iskolar ng Bayan!
1. Student number?
99-00920
2. College?
UP College of Mass Communication (that's CMC or MassComm to you)
3. Ano ang course mo?
BA Broadcast Communication (Quota course yan! May quota course sa masscomm hehehe)
4. Nag-shift ka ba o na-kickout?
Nope. Loyal Broad Comm major. Loved every minute of it.
5. Saan ka kumuha ng UPCAT?
UPIS! With my poor pathetic ham sandwich and Coke in can. Katabi ng isang lalaki na may Coke litro sa backpack and chicharon na kinain niya habang sitty pretty siya sa math exam. I wonder if pumasa yun???
6. Favorite GE subject?
Comm I under Professor Wendell Capili, Humanities I under Lara Saguisag
7. Favorite PE?
WALA!!! hehehe. Although naka-1 ako sa stretching dahil nakapagsplit ako at 500 crunches at the end of the sem. Hahaha. and I guess Bowling dahil kaklase ko ang crush ko at hinahatid niya ako sa tambayan pabalik galing SM North hehehe. With matching beso and beautiful eyes. Those were the days hehehehehe. Ambango!!!
8. Saan ka nag-aabang ng hot guy sa UP?
hahaha. nagjijeep kami papuntang ateneo!!! (kidding! but partly true) Aysus kakapacute ko sa mga guys (not too hot but pwede na) ay lagi ako nadadapa and natitisod (earning me the name dulas queen sa mga tambayan ng aking mga crush). areas include (kayo na manghula kung sinu-sino ang andito hahaha): AS parking lot, AS steps, AS walk (afternoon walk with gigi and jessie over ice cream!), Eng'g (given na to. hahaha), BA, Econ, minsan nakikisawsaw sa mga friends na soccer boy crazy hahaha. Oh! and how could I forget our "expose" sa UP basketball team??? hahaha. gosh. i got around quite a lot pala.
9. Favorite prof(s)
Wendell Capili (Comm I), Roland Tolentino (Film 100), Lara Saguisag (Humanities I, Creative Writing 100), Victor Avecilla (BC 100), Angelito Tiongson (Scriptwriting and beloved Thesis Adviser), Ma'am Jo (I forget her last name - BC 121), Nessa Valdellon (BC 131)
10. Pinaka-ayaw na GE subject.
Philo I (I think dahil sa professor more than anything else. Eek.
11. Kumuha ka ba ng Wed or Sat classes?
Yep! Sa course namin maraming Wednesday na block-time classes, tipong Wed 1-3 or 8:30-11. I remember taking a law-related elective ng Sat 830-1130 under Atty. Jorda. Hahaha. I thought I knew law then! NGAK!
12. Nakapag-field trip ka ba?
Parang hindi. Okay lang busy sa orgs hehehe.
13. Naging CS ka na ba or US sa UP?
Oo naman. hahaha. my glory years.
14. Ano ang Org/Frat/Soro mo?
UPD YFC, UP Broadcasters' Guild, UP Debate Society
15. Saan ka tumatambay palagi?
sa YFC tambayan, or kumakain sa labas with guilders or with my college barkada. feeling sosyal - Starbucks Katip forever!
16. Dorm, Boarding house, o Bahay?
Bahay
17. Kung walang UPCAT test at malaya kang nakapili ng kurso mo sa UP, ano yun? (Given ang mentality mo nung HS ka)
Same! Broadcast Communication pa rin! Loved every minute talaga.
18. Sino ang pinaka-una mong nakilala sa UP?
my entire high school barkada went to UP eh, sabay-sabay kami nag-enroll. plus, old friends from community YFC, plus holy girls sa course - aneka and anne. and holy girls in other colleges - lui, mel, joey, etc. parang bahay ko lang ang UP hahaha.
19. First play na napanood mo sa UP?
I don't remember which one! But I remember one with nudity! hehehe. siyempre - Paris and Alexander.
20. Name the 5 most conyo orgs in UP
Hihihi. I don't know! I'm jologzzzzzz.
21. Name 5 of the coolest orgs/frats/soro in UP.
UPDYFC! halo-halong tao and Broadguild! I was reinvented as Sophie! hahaha.
22. May frat/soro bang nag-recruit sa yo?
Meron, but I don't believe in frats and sororities kasi. I believe in rising and falling on your own merits.
23. Saan ka madalas mag-lunch?
freshman year - Casaa and Yellow-Orange house, sophomore year - Katipunan mostly, third year and fourth year - may kotse na regularly! Eastwood, Katipunan, Chocolate Kiss. hahaha. lamig kasi sa masscomm so dapat aircon.
24. Masaya ba sa UP?
YESSSS!!! hands down happiest place ever.
25. Nakasama ka na ba sa rally?
Oo! One required for BC 101 (coverage of a rally sa senate) and then sa EDSA DOS. had quite the participation there! we were the human barricade sa stage, we also distributed bread from the flyover and dropped them down to the hungry masses. *kilig moments with a crush. hahahaha. eeekkk.
26. Ilang beses ka bumoto sa Student Council
ngak. isa?
27. Name at least 5 leftist groups in UP
Stand UP. parang wala na akong ibang alam.
28. Pinangarap mo rin bang mag-laude nung freshman ka?
but of course. asa goal book ko ito sa prosec project namin nung fourth year high school.
29. Kanino ka pinaka-patay sa UP?
hahaha. i would mention his name, but baka mabasa niya nakakahiya kadiri. pero over the years I had quite a number of crushes hahaha. luckily i got to date most of them naman. hahaha. ewan bat ang manang manang ko na ngayon. i need my flirty self back hahaha.
30. Kung di ka UP, anong school ka?
hmm. ateneo?
Law school in UP is...interesting, for the most part. But in many ways UP Law is an entirely different animal.
So as a tribute to the good old days...
Maligayang ika-100 taon, mga Iskolar ng Bayan!
1. Student number?
99-00920
2. College?
UP College of Mass Communication (that's CMC or MassComm to you)
3. Ano ang course mo?
BA Broadcast Communication (Quota course yan! May quota course sa masscomm hehehe)
4. Nag-shift ka ba o na-kickout?
Nope. Loyal Broad Comm major. Loved every minute of it.
5. Saan ka kumuha ng UPCAT?
UPIS! With my poor pathetic ham sandwich and Coke in can. Katabi ng isang lalaki na may Coke litro sa backpack and chicharon na kinain niya habang sitty pretty siya sa math exam. I wonder if pumasa yun???
6. Favorite GE subject?
Comm I under Professor Wendell Capili, Humanities I under Lara Saguisag
7. Favorite PE?
WALA!!! hehehe. Although naka-1 ako sa stretching dahil nakapagsplit ako at 500 crunches at the end of the sem. Hahaha. and I guess Bowling dahil kaklase ko ang crush ko at hinahatid niya ako sa tambayan pabalik galing SM North hehehe. With matching beso and beautiful eyes. Those were the days hehehehehe. Ambango!!!
8. Saan ka nag-aabang ng hot guy sa UP?
hahaha. nagjijeep kami papuntang ateneo!!! (kidding! but partly true) Aysus kakapacute ko sa mga guys (not too hot but pwede na) ay lagi ako nadadapa and natitisod (earning me the name dulas queen sa mga tambayan ng aking mga crush). areas include (kayo na manghula kung sinu-sino ang andito hahaha): AS parking lot, AS steps, AS walk (afternoon walk with gigi and jessie over ice cream!), Eng'g (given na to. hahaha), BA, Econ, minsan nakikisawsaw sa mga friends na soccer boy crazy hahaha. Oh! and how could I forget our "expose" sa UP basketball team??? hahaha. gosh. i got around quite a lot pala.
9. Favorite prof(s)
Wendell Capili (Comm I), Roland Tolentino (Film 100), Lara Saguisag (Humanities I, Creative Writing 100), Victor Avecilla (BC 100), Angelito Tiongson (Scriptwriting and beloved Thesis Adviser), Ma'am Jo (I forget her last name - BC 121), Nessa Valdellon (BC 131)
10. Pinaka-ayaw na GE subject.
Philo I (I think dahil sa professor more than anything else. Eek.
11. Kumuha ka ba ng Wed or Sat classes?
Yep! Sa course namin maraming Wednesday na block-time classes, tipong Wed 1-3 or 8:30-11. I remember taking a law-related elective ng Sat 830-1130 under Atty. Jorda. Hahaha. I thought I knew law then! NGAK!
12. Nakapag-field trip ka ba?
Parang hindi. Okay lang busy sa orgs hehehe.
13. Naging CS ka na ba or US sa UP?
Oo naman. hahaha. my glory years.
14. Ano ang Org/Frat/Soro mo?
UPD YFC, UP Broadcasters' Guild, UP Debate Society
15. Saan ka tumatambay palagi?
sa YFC tambayan, or kumakain sa labas with guilders or with my college barkada. feeling sosyal - Starbucks Katip forever!
16. Dorm, Boarding house, o Bahay?
Bahay
17. Kung walang UPCAT test at malaya kang nakapili ng kurso mo sa UP, ano yun? (Given ang mentality mo nung HS ka)
Same! Broadcast Communication pa rin! Loved every minute talaga.
18. Sino ang pinaka-una mong nakilala sa UP?
my entire high school barkada went to UP eh, sabay-sabay kami nag-enroll. plus, old friends from community YFC, plus holy girls sa course - aneka and anne. and holy girls in other colleges - lui, mel, joey, etc. parang bahay ko lang ang UP hahaha.
19. First play na napanood mo sa UP?
I don't remember which one! But I remember one with nudity! hehehe. siyempre - Paris and Alexander.
20. Name the 5 most conyo orgs in UP
Hihihi. I don't know! I'm jologzzzzzz.
21. Name 5 of the coolest orgs/frats/soro in UP.
UPDYFC! halo-halong tao and Broadguild! I was reinvented as Sophie! hahaha.
22. May frat/soro bang nag-recruit sa yo?
Meron, but I don't believe in frats and sororities kasi. I believe in rising and falling on your own merits.
23. Saan ka madalas mag-lunch?
freshman year - Casaa and Yellow-Orange house, sophomore year - Katipunan mostly, third year and fourth year - may kotse na regularly! Eastwood, Katipunan, Chocolate Kiss. hahaha. lamig kasi sa masscomm so dapat aircon.
24. Masaya ba sa UP?
YESSSS!!! hands down happiest place ever.
25. Nakasama ka na ba sa rally?
Oo! One required for BC 101 (coverage of a rally sa senate) and then sa EDSA DOS. had quite the participation there! we were the human barricade sa stage, we also distributed bread from the flyover and dropped them down to the hungry masses. *kilig moments with a crush. hahahaha. eeekkk.
26. Ilang beses ka bumoto sa Student Council
ngak. isa?
27. Name at least 5 leftist groups in UP
Stand UP. parang wala na akong ibang alam.
28. Pinangarap mo rin bang mag-laude nung freshman ka?
but of course. asa goal book ko ito sa prosec project namin nung fourth year high school.
29. Kanino ka pinaka-patay sa UP?
hahaha. i would mention his name, but baka mabasa niya nakakahiya kadiri. pero over the years I had quite a number of crushes hahaha. luckily i got to date most of them naman. hahaha. ewan bat ang manang manang ko na ngayon. i need my flirty self back hahaha.
30. Kung di ka UP, anong school ka?
hmm. ateneo?
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
with open arms and a guarded heart
hello 2008! i welcome you with open arms and a resolution to deal with things you throw my way better.
in truth, i have only one resolution which i intend to apply - to everything that i have on my plate so far and everything that will come my way this year. im posting it in the hope that my one true resolution will help you find and achieve the things you seek or desire:
LET GO OR TRY HARDER.
life is short. we are given only so much time here, and i have realized that i need to let go of things or people that are weighing me down and to focus on the people and the goals that truly matter to me. i resolve to enhance the strengths that i already have by constant work and attention, and to enrich and nurture my relationships with important people in my life.
with all the things that i decide to keep in my life, i resolve to try harder in order to meet my goals. i know myself too well - being an expert at failure and backtracking. i resolve to always remind myself that if i fail, there is always tomorrow - and that i don't need to wait for another new year to try to get back on track.
along the same lines, i resolve to let go (for the time being) of my giddyness and excitement at the idea of being with someone. i accept that there are many things that i need to work on alone and i realize that i need to give myself the breathing room to grow into my shell. i resolve to free myself of the pressure to couple up, to not beat myself up for not being with someone yet (or ever), and to make myself realize that i am enough on my own, and when i decide i am ready, i have a lot to offer and to share. so while i enter 2008 with an open mind to new people and new experiences, i do so with a guarded heart.
this is something that i found off of postsecret that ive been keeping for quite some time now. ive always felt the same way...but i choose to let go of this icky feeling.
but this post is getting too serious already!!!
because i want to start the year right, i want to honor some of the people who have made 2007 so memorable (with photos para star!!!):
my sisters - you are the loves of my life. really.
ate dey (thank you for making me part of your family. for giving me a home to go to when i feel like i have none. for all the advice, for sharing in my excitement, for being the sister i never had but always wanted)
trix (thank you for understanding me so well. for putting up with me when i am incoherent, irrational, patay-gutom (hehehe), and pessimistic. you carry my heart. i hope to carry yours.)
my law school barkada (thank you for every moment we have. for making law school bearable. for listening when i am senseless, for helping me try to find my purpose, for laughing with me when i feel like joy is nowhere to be found.)
new-found/rediscovered friends - you've made me laugh more than i ever had in a long, long time :-) i look forward to many more memorable times!
the new happy group?
carrie made us cupcakes!
katha our laughtrip buddy
aidz!
new blockmates
constant companions and confidantes
my brother (for everything you've done and for sharing in both my joys and my pains.)
you are beloved. and truly appreciated. happy new year to us!
in truth, i have only one resolution which i intend to apply - to everything that i have on my plate so far and everything that will come my way this year. im posting it in the hope that my one true resolution will help you find and achieve the things you seek or desire:
LET GO OR TRY HARDER.
life is short. we are given only so much time here, and i have realized that i need to let go of things or people that are weighing me down and to focus on the people and the goals that truly matter to me. i resolve to enhance the strengths that i already have by constant work and attention, and to enrich and nurture my relationships with important people in my life.
with all the things that i decide to keep in my life, i resolve to try harder in order to meet my goals. i know myself too well - being an expert at failure and backtracking. i resolve to always remind myself that if i fail, there is always tomorrow - and that i don't need to wait for another new year to try to get back on track.
along the same lines, i resolve to let go (for the time being) of my giddyness and excitement at the idea of being with someone. i accept that there are many things that i need to work on alone and i realize that i need to give myself the breathing room to grow into my shell. i resolve to free myself of the pressure to couple up, to not beat myself up for not being with someone yet (or ever), and to make myself realize that i am enough on my own, and when i decide i am ready, i have a lot to offer and to share. so while i enter 2008 with an open mind to new people and new experiences, i do so with a guarded heart.
this is something that i found off of postsecret that ive been keeping for quite some time now. ive always felt the same way...but i choose to let go of this icky feeling.
but this post is getting too serious already!!!
because i want to start the year right, i want to honor some of the people who have made 2007 so memorable (with photos para star!!!):
my sisters - you are the loves of my life. really.
ate dey (thank you for making me part of your family. for giving me a home to go to when i feel like i have none. for all the advice, for sharing in my excitement, for being the sister i never had but always wanted)
trix (thank you for understanding me so well. for putting up with me when i am incoherent, irrational, patay-gutom (hehehe), and pessimistic. you carry my heart. i hope to carry yours.)
my law school barkada (thank you for every moment we have. for making law school bearable. for listening when i am senseless, for helping me try to find my purpose, for laughing with me when i feel like joy is nowhere to be found.)
new-found/rediscovered friends - you've made me laugh more than i ever had in a long, long time :-) i look forward to many more memorable times!
the new happy group?
carrie made us cupcakes!
katha our laughtrip buddy
aidz!
new blockmates
constant companions and confidantes
my brother (for everything you've done and for sharing in both my joys and my pains.)
you are beloved. and truly appreciated. happy new year to us!
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