Thursday, April 28, 2005

pang-summer!!!

Halo-Halo
Halo-Halo: A medly of beans and fruits mixed with
ice, ice cream, and condensed milk


Which Filipino Food Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

with eyes wide shut

and with one phone call, i have completely departed from my manang ways.

am jumping blindly into the deep. hope the Lord approves.

wish me luck!

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

getting between a girl and her shopping sprees

the first week of my much-awaited summer vacation has come and gone, and i can't believe i spent it the way i did.

tuesday and wednesday was spent partly working and partly shopping. well, mostly shopping. ended up buying a pair of sequined mules, a white electric pleat skirt (very princess-y), a crisp beige non-iron long-sleeved shirt, a very MANGO-looking pair of pants, and a pink and green puff-sleeved shirt. gosh. and i wasn't even planning on shopping for me.

which is funny, because when i told my classmate about my surprise purchases she just smirked and grunted "impulse buyer" under her breath, and i got so irked. i hate it when people generalize like that, like they know exactly everything. granted, i did buy a lot of things in the span of 2 days, but they were things ive been looking all over for for quite some time already. because i wouldn't consider buying something unless it's priced within my specified budget. and so they could never have been impulse purchases. if i may say so, they were very well-thought of purchases.

it made me feel a little sad, and a little violated, partly because now im conducting the trial run of the personal shopping thing. if im so affected about what one girl will say about my purchases, how can i do that consistently without ending up in tears?

*resolution. stop listening to people who don't matter, and who will not contribute to future success.

going further, the week was NOT, thankfully, spent shopping. a good part of it was spent working actually, thursday being briefed for graduation rites (volunteered to be an usher), and friday doing legal research for a criminal case. cannot believe that i actually spent friday night reading my old consti cases looking for reasons to acquit someone possessing something malum prohibitum. god. reading cases during the summer.

saturday was spent schmoozing. my dad had a party for the newly passed lawyers and so a lot of drunk lawyers went crooning into the night courtesy of our newly repaired (i wish it were broken) magic mic. hooboy. our poor neighbors.

sunday was a veeerrrrryyyy lazy day. videos and magazines. and a very long nap wherein i dated someone i really shouldn't have and our house burned down. (i dont remember if they were at all related, but it just goes to show that when you date someone you shouldn't something gets burned. hehehe)

i really do need to expand my summer activities. on the upside, thanks to ais, i signed up for the i-volunteer projects. (for those interested, its www.i-volunteer.com.ph) waiting for a reply from the organizers. hope it'll turn out okay.

any summer jobs, internships you guys know of? email me!!!

Monday, April 25, 2005

my sentiments exactly

thanks to freddie mercury :)

Somebody to Love

Can anybody find me somebody to love?
Each morning I get up I die a little
Can barely stand on my feet
Take a look in the mirror and cry
Lord what you’re doing to me
I have spent all my years in believing you
But I just can’t get no relief,
Lord!
Somebody, somebody
Can anybody find me somebody to love?

I work hard every day of my life
I work till I ache my bones
At the end I take home my hard earned pay all on my own -
I get down on my knees
And I start to pray
Till the tears run down from my eyes
Lord - somebody - somebody
Can anybody find me - somebody to love?

(he works hard)

Everyday - I try and I try and I try -
But everybody wants to put me down
They say I’m goin’ crazy
They say I got a lot of water in my brain
Got no common sense
I got nobody left to believe
Yeah - yeah yeah yeah

Oh lord
Somebody - somebody
Can anybody find me somebody to love?

Got no feel, I got no rhythm
I just keep losing my beat
I’m ok, I’m alright
Ain’t gonna face no defeat
I just gotta get out of this prison cell
Someday I’m gonna be free, lord!

Find me somebody to love
Can anybody find me somebody to love?

Saturday, April 23, 2005

harboring thoughts

at this point, i am thinking about...

...quitting law school. but where would i go? and is it just a knee-jerk reaction to the happening of undesirable things?

...becoming a rebellious child. a little late at 23, but i feel like ive been following orders all my life.

...moving out of the house. partly because im thinking about quitting law school and partly because i want to be a rebellious child. a part of me just wants to prove to myself that i can survive without being given money and only on the skills that i have. the american dream except that i am stuck in manila. but hopefully away from the critical eyes of my mom and dad.

...becoming a smoker. because i don't know how else to make myself be thin. AND it would also mark the beginning of my imagined rebellious streak. hitting two birds with one stone is always a plus.

...going into a nunnery. allows me to move out of the house, not go into law school AND, be closer to God which is my secret wish. (see past post) plus, under the habit who cares how fat i am? maybe, like my professor said during my LAE interview, going into religious orders will allow me to help even more people than if i were a lawyer (only then i would be praying for all the dirty lawyers of the world). those close to me more than others.

...becoming a lesbian. ah, no more need to justify why i am not with a guy, PLUS i get to be rebellious. oh, sometimes i just wish i were. much easier to be a bitch.


...putting up a business. but i have no business know-how and no capital to begin with. maybe i can waitress during the day.

...becoming confrontational all over again. ive been keeping everything bottled for so long already. maybe i should just say the first thing on my mind and snap at everyone who gets in the way. old maid my ass, you're an old pervert with no hair and no reputation to speak of. i want to turn green and break someone in half.

...throwing away my cellphone. while it has been a great help, it brought on the horrors that i am suffering now. maybe losing it will have its perks. no one to ask me where i am. plus, if all cellphones were gone, then maybe philandering husbands and wives would have nothing else to communicate with discreetly. stupid people who can't control themselves.

i feel so impotent. it sucks that i can only rant about things here and not be able to do anything about it. feels like theres no choice.

Thursday, April 21, 2005

childhood memories

--nung ikaw ay bata... nagawa mo ba to?--

*kumakain ka ba ng aratilis?
opo. pumupunta kami sa bahay ni doctor araw at umaakyat sa puno ng aratilis (na ang tawag namin paminsan-minsan ay saresa sa kapampangan). minsan sumasakit ang tiyan ko pagkatapos kumain ng aratilis na hindi hinuhugasan muna ng tubig.

*nagpipitpit ng gumamela para gawing soapy
bubbles na hihipanmo sa binilog na tanggkay ng walis
tingting?
opo! pero ang pinakamemorable na gumamela bubbles ay ang ginawa namin nung college sa isang demo production for a children's show kung saan sinubukan namin mandaya (nagdagdag kami ng tide sa mixture at hindi parin bumula). muntikan nang ma-5 ang kaklase kong si kai pero dahil sa sobrang natawa ang teacher sa kawawang gumamela na nalupaypay pero hindi bumula ay binigyan na lang siya ng 3.

*pinipilit ka ba matulog ng nanay mo pag hapon at
di ka papayagan maglaro pag di ka natulog?
opo. kaya ang ginawa naming magpipinsan ay hindi kami natutulog pero naglalaro kami sa loob ng kwarto tapos magpapanggap na tulog pag may pumasok. kaya lang nagkinikiliti kami para siguraduhin na tulog kami at papaluin kung mahuhuli. kaya nagsusuot kami ng maraming shorts na patong-patong para hindi masakit paluin. pero nahuli kami dahil pagpalo sa pinsan ko lumabas yung shorts sa ilalim at lahat kami pinalo. mahigit 1 linggo akong hirap maglakad.

*marunong ka magpatintero, saksak puso,
langit-lupa, teleber-teleber, luksong tinik? -
opo. pati 10-20! lagi ako mother. at saka kick-ball with the kids from the other street.

*malupit ka pag meron kang atari, family computer
or nes?
opo. wala kaming family computer pero ang pinsan kong si jaygee ay meron. kaya nakikilaro kami doon. isang araw nung wala sila, sinubukan kong maglaro mag-isa at naisaksak ko ang 110 sa 220 at sumabog ang tv. hanggang ngayon ay hindi pa nila alam na ako ang nakasira ng tv at family computer sa kagustuhan kong umabot sa last stage ng supermario.

*alam mo ang silbi ng up, up, down, down, left,
right, left, right, a, b, a, b, start?
ehe. parang hindi ko maalala. baka kaya hindi ako umabot sa last stage ng supermario sa buong tanangbuhay ko.

*may mga damit ka na U.S.E.D., Boy London,
Cross Colors, Esprit, Blowing Bubbles at pag nakakakita
ka ng Bench na damit eh naalala mo si Richard
Gomez?
nagkaroon ako ng shorts na U.S.E.D., esprit, at blowing bubbles (pantalon na stripes nung uso pa. hihihi)

*addict ka sa rainbow brite, carebears, my little
pony, thundercats, bioman, voltes v, mazinger z, daimos,
he-man at marami pang cartoons na hindi pa
translated sa tagalog?
opo. kay rainbow brite at sa carebears. pero ang pinakamahal ko ay sina garfield and friends, at sina jem and the holograms.
*nanonood ka ng shaider kasi nabobosohan mo si
annie at type na type mo ang puting panty nya?
opo. pero ang alam ko ay dilaw ang panty ni annie. not that i am looking. marami din naman akong panty of my own. baka yung mga boys. pero crush ko si alexis. hihihi.

*marunong ka mag wordstar at nakahawak ka na
talaga ng 5.25 na floppy disk?
opo! sa sobra kong karunungan sa wordstar ay nung 1st year high school, ako pa ang ipinadala sa computer competition sa claret for fastest and most comprehensive essay writing done on wordstar. (*geek*)

*inaabangan mo lagi ang batibot at akala mo
magkakatuluyan si kuya bodgie at ate sienna...
nung high school ka inaabangan mo lagi beverly
hills 90210?
opo! kaibigan pa sa college ng tita ko si ate sienna kaya sikat ako. ehehehe. pero si ate sienna ay hindi kasing-bait ng kanyang tv self. sa totoo lang, isa siyang malaking flirt. si kuya bodjie ay mahal ko rin.
- nung naging grade 6 ako ay nanood din ako ng 90210. at crush ko si brandon! Ü

*gumagamit ka ng AQUANET para pataasin ang
bangs mo?
hindi ako gumamit masyado ng aqua net pero nilabanan ko ang aking pagkakulot sa paggupit ng bangs ko. na laging s-shaped sa gitna ng noo ko. yak!

*meron kang blouse na may padding kung babae
ka at meron kang sapatos na mighty kid kung lalake ka?
opo! sa kagustuhan kong gayahin ang nanay ko ay karamihan ng damit ko ay may padding. kasabay ng mga leggings na may sukbitan sa paa. at meron din akong mighty kid! at barbie na rubber shoes. uso din yun nun! at saka gregg shoes!!!

*nangongolekta ka ng paper stationaries at mahilig
ka magpapirma sa slumbook mo para lang
malaman mo kung sino ang crush ng type mo?
opo! at hindi lang statio ang kinokolekta ko. pati eraser na mabango. at sticker. at siyempre, ang slumbook. kaya lang isang crush ko lang ang nakapirma dun. at sinabi niya he thought i was friendly. hay. noon pa ay "just friends" lang ang tingin sa akin. *tears* pero okay lang. nung medyo tumanda ako, pumasok siya sa balikbayan box at ineregalo niya ang sarili niya sa akin, kasama ang isang happy birthday troll, na kinolekta ko rin. Ü

*kilala mo si manang bola at ang sitsiritsit
girls?
aba siyempre! pati si irma daldal. at ang sitsiritsit ay hindi girls. alien sila. sinasabi nila sit-si-rit-sit-a-li-bang-bang. kasama na rin siyempre si pong, kiko, at iba pang batibot friends.

*alam mo ibig sabihin ng time space warp at di mo
makakalimutan ang time space warp chant?
TIME SPACE WARP! NGAYON DIN! umshigi-shigi...noon ang pangarap kong trabaho at mag-voice-over sa shaider.

*idol mo si McGyver at nanonood kang perfect
strangers?
si mcgyver okay lang pero paborito namin lahat ang perfect strangers at pinapanood naming buong pamilya.

*eto malupet... six digits! lang ba ang phone
number nyo dati?
OPO!!!! 961-922! at mayron pa kaming partyline!!! na lagi namin sinusugod dahil napakatelebabad nila.

*nakakatawag ka pa sa pay phone ng 3
bentesingko lang ang dala?
OPO!!! may kanta pa nga niyan si dingdong avanzado...3 bentesinko lang ang aking kailangan...

*cute pa si aiza seguerra sa eat bulaga at alam mo
ang song na "eh kasi bata"?
opo! pangarap ko ngang mag-little miss philippines. pero noon pa, ayoko na si LA Lopez dahil mukha siyang abnoy.

*inabutan mo ba na ang Magnolia Chocolait eh
nasa glass bottle pa na ginagawang lalagyan ng tubig ng
nanay mo sa ref?
OPO! lalagyan namin ng tubig ang mga bote!! at naaalala niyo ba ang sweet dairy milk? at ang mga libreng libro sa NIDO?

*meron kang pencil case na maraming compartments
na pinagyayabang mo sa mga kaklase mo?
OPO! pero lumipas ang panahon at nakabili pa ako ng pencil case na may mga nagsusurfing sa itaas! (yung tubig na may blue na oil?)

*noon mo pa hinahanap kung saan ang Goya Fun
Factory?
OMG! eto ang malupit! kita galing sa bubong ng lumang bahay namin ang goya factory! at lagi kaming sumisigaw pag brownout sa mga tao dun!

*alam mo lyrics ng "tinapang bangus" at
"alagang-alaga namin si puti"?
Tinapang bangus, tinapang bangus...masarap ang tinapang bangus!

*alam mo ang kantang "gloria labandera".. lumusong
sha sa tubig ang paa ay nabasa at ang "1, 2, 3,
asawa ni marie"
hindi ko po ito alam.

*sosyal ka pag may play-doh ka at Lego... at
nag-iipon ka ng G.I. Joe action figures at iba pa
ang mukha ni barbie noon?
mayron akong playdoh! pati lego! pero hindi ako sosyal. ang kapitbahay ko na only child, si iya figueroa, may kumpletong set ng barbie, ken, bahay, kotse, at makeup para sa barbie niya. yung mga barbie ko puro palamunin at pulubing hubad at na-rape ng mga GIJOE ng mga pinsan ko. :-(

*inabutan mo pa yung singkong korteng bulaklak at
yung diyes na square?
opo.

*lumaki kang bobo dahil ang akala mo nangangagat
talaga ang alimango sa kantang tong-tong-tong...
nangangagat nga naman ang sabi ng kanta. pero asan ang bibig niya?

*alam mo yung kwento ng pari na binigyan ng pera
yung batang umakyat ng puno para bumili ng
panty... and shempre, alam mo rin ba kung ano
binigay nya sa nanay nung umakyat ng puno?
diba binigay ng nanay yung panty niya?

*meron kang kabisadong kanta ni andrew e na alam
mo hanggang ngayon.. aminin?
AHEHEHEHE! opo. pero ngayon ay hindi ko na alam. pero gusto kong maging alabang girl nun.

*laging lampin ang sinasapin sa likod mo pag
pinapawisan ka?
ako po bimpo.

*bumibili ka ng tarzan, texas at bazooka bubble
gum... tira-tira, at yung kending bilog na
sinawsaw sa asukal?
tarzan? ano yun?
texas? ano yun?
bazooka bubble gum!! pero sumasakit ipin ko pagkatapos.

*kinukupit mo pa at nanonood ka ng mga porno tapes
ng tatay mo na nasa BETAMAX format pa... at sanay
ka tawagin ang porni as BOLD? -may betamax kami pero di ako nanunuod ng BOLD noon ha...
ang tatay ko walang bold, (also known as BOMBA), pero ang tatay ng pinsan ko marami...hanggang ngayon!!! sabi nila manonood kami ng little mermaid tapos iba ang pinanuod namin. MARIA MAKILING na MALAKI. na ang sound ay Little Mermaid. mygash. all this at 6.

*takot ka dumating ang year 2000 dahil sabi nla
magugunaw daw ang mundo?
ay hindi mashado.

sabi ay kung alam ko raw ang lahat ng ito ako ay 25. 23 pa lang ako!!!!

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

the new Pope and my new Catholicism

the day the pope died, i didn't expect to be as affected as i was. it was the day before the exam of one of my critical subjects, and wasn't able to study quite effectively at all. i sat and slumped at got very teary-eyed watching every apology he gave to all other religions, and watching other people talk about how he touched their lives.

it made me want to be a better Catholic, a better God-follower.

in this website where people send in postcards with personal secrets, one that struck me said that "I miss feeling close to God."

i miss that too.

watching all the catholics at St. Peter's Sqaure looking so happy an glowing and ecstatic picked up my mood also. the new pope, formerly Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger of Germany, now Pope Benedict XVI, looks very kind. As my mom says, "maamo ang mukha", and i don't know if its just me being awake and giddy at being part of history or at the very least being able to witness history in the making, but i really felt like praying after the announcement.

its as if my faith is renewed with the renewal of Pope.

Thank you God! And keep him safe always, and guide him in his decisions.

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

the months in a nutshell

finishing up as a freshman in law school really put a crimp in my well-laid plans for the month of march. as you have probably known, a lot of my gripes have been about my uncelebrated birthday, and unrealized plans for pampering. i wasn't able to document the events of march and april, and was not able to take what was supposed to be the second year of a tradition that i began last year: the princess portrait. hahaha. yes, its true. i am a princess. (prince william! hint hint)

last year's photos were really nice, and it nearly killed me that i wasn't able to take one this year. but to commemorate the months that have gone by, i will post past pictures of events that came and went.

in lieu of the photo and the day of pampering i was supposed to get, i got a haircut, and took photos from my phone whilst waiting for my picture to be taken at the studio (for the passport renewal). the first time since i was 13 that i actually have (inconspicuous bangs).
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a picture with an old friend taken during one of the weekly visits to the hospital where my friend jessie was recuperating from the trauma of a horrible car crash.

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a night of culture with kris, where we saw the manila philharmonic orchestra at the Cultural Center of the Philippines

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an unwilling birthday picture (i was very grumpy) taken after a hefty buffet lunch at the makati shangrila hotel. this is me in my fluffy (code for chubby and hairy) state.

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March 22 - the last day of class, necessarily, was legal theory, and to commemorate the event we decided to get all dressed up as a block so we could get a photo taken with our dear professor sison. we missed him, but we did get snap-happy at the library the afternoon of the same day.

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April 9 - last day of written exams, the block all dressed up again, where we again attempted to take a complete block picture while we were all complete, with the exception of rosanne, who unfortunately was not there.

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my blutooth's busted, so i will just have to update the other pictures when it's fixed. all this in a 2 months! gawd. i really do need a life.

the end has come.

of my first year as a law student!!!

WOOOHOOO. after failing and retaking the orals, i finally studied and learned enough to pass. talked the professor's ear off whilst he was pretending to be listening and trying not to snore. hihihi.

as an added bonus, i also chatted with professor sison where we discussed how he thought our class

Sison: "got IT. parang nung nagbabasa ako ng exam, naiintindihan ninyo ah!"
enter me, in a timid and shy voice,
IA: "Actually sir, I really liked theory because we were encouraged to form opinions regarding the legal theories."
Sison: "That's very good hija."

hehehe. he actually called me hija. i can feel my fathers insides churning now.

having been super down after i failed the first time, i think now i see the wisdom in retaking my oblicon orals. i know so much more, and know it a lot better. and am humbled enough to admit that cramming 38 pages of something you never opened the entire sem, even if possible, is not wise. at least next time, (granting i will not be kicked out because of other grades, i will have enough sense to open my books once in a while. lalo na if si Professor Labitag ang professor ko.

As Professor Labitag said after my oral today, "You see Ms. Lee? 3 more days of studying did not hurt you at all."

a sample of my first and failed oblicon oral:

Me: "In compensation, what is contemplated are reciprocal obligations..."
Labitag: "How many obligations are there in compensation?"
Me: l o n g p a u s e. "Uhm...one?"
Labitag: "There are 2!"
me: "Yes, sir, that's what I said, 2."

Hooboy. If I were him, I would have slapped myself silly. kakasabi nga lang na reciproca obligations...

But on the brighter side, SUMMER NA!

Saturday, April 16, 2005

failure is the bitterest pill.

what does it mean when you fail at something everyone generally passes?

i don't know what it means. but it doesn't feel good.

maybe it means i really am not cut out for this.

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

so i am a fox. and it didn't even come from me

fox.
You are the fox.


Saint Exupery's 'The Little Prince' Quiz.
brought to you by Quizilla

hah. a fox. does that also translate to being a hottie? :)

week speeding by

hmm. my birthday came and went without me feeling it. exams. havent slept in about 2 weeks. and crammed about 3 thousand pages worth of information into my head. i dont know if after i feel smarter or dumber. i do know that after exam time i feel queasy and weak in the knees from the impending doom that are the results coupled with my grades. things that will determine my future. or at least how ill be spending the next semester.

i am exhausted.

and anxious.

how do i feel at 23? exactly how i felt at 22, except, some 3000 pages wiser. i hope.

i wish i could be ditzy and cheerful and all mermaid-y like last year.

oh. and can i just say that i did feel a personal loss at the death of Pope John Paul II yesterday. I wish I got to meet him. But having him as a Pope made me proud to be Catholic.