frenzy used to be one of my most favorite words ever. because it seemed to sum up everything i was feeling at any given time. until the condom came. who names neon colored condoms frenzy anyway??? hmph. whatawaste of a truly great word.
this week, i have been frenzied. very much so. the readings are ganging up on me. and on top of that, my mother has decided to surprise me with a room renovation. so now, nothing is nowhere near its proper place, and my obsessive-compulsive little heart is palpitating more than usual. as if i didn't have enough problems already catching up with all of the crim readings. i now have the added excitement of a physical challenge: try to locate the correct law reading amidst a sea of mixed up law readings in the least time possible. i think, that shall be my cardio. hehehe.
this week has been full of social events. which would be just peachy had they not all been held on the same night. isn't life just a bitch? just when you think you have enough social events to carry you through the next harrowing sem of lawschool (ideally, 2 every weekend for your sanity's sake), your friends decide to throw them all in one night. so now, you spend most of a fabulous friday evening in the car trying to get from one event to another. i chose to spend my friday in front of my desk determined to at least half what's left of my criminal law readings. i did about 5% of what i was supposed to. skipped the pyfp videoke dinner they had planned and instead went to the lotus pavillion in my pseudo formal wear (crisp white top and orangey-gold raw silk pants) and hobnobbed with the fellas from updyfc. it felt weird. you fantasize about hanging out with people from a golden point in your college life, and realize how disorienting it is to hang out with them NOT as college idiots but, as dave put it, a more mature crowd. what's weirder is that it no longer felt like the hug that it used to. i was beyond shocked to discover that lawschool people had become more homey to me than i actually thought they were. but all the same, we sat on the hotel room floor chatting like nothing had changed. over chips and soda and smoked-scented curtains, we talked about career, and broken relationships, and prom dates that never materialized.
okay, so that was ONE conversation. but i suppose it was relevant. found out he had dated the entire female population except for me. it was a good thing i got over him when i did. that's about all i have to say about that.
saturday was, unfortunately spent preparing for, and being bored at a children's party. for the miracle baby of my cousin who turned one yesterday. my goddaughter katrina. i can't believe im nearing the age where the parties i'll be going to are birthday parties of people who i used to be young with. so this is what old feels like. sticking out like a sore thumb with your knees sticking out of a toddler table with balloons surrounding you thinking "what the hell happened?!" ah, how sweetened spaghetti and dirty ice cream affects me so.
the highlight of the weekend was a three-way conversation with joanne and kathy. just like we used to way back in high school. THAT, really did feel like home. even if it was just the 3 of us, id be happy as a bug. high school was fun because of them.
and so, here comes a new week. more palpitations and more readings i will not be able to read. isn't law school life just grand? i think, for now, the only high i get from law school is getting to tell people i know enough to attend it. hehehe. "so, san ka na ngayon?" answer: "oh me? im in law school." that's it. my entire life in a sentence. a sentence for my entire life. a life sentence. hehehe.
in the words of the fabulous tigger (lifted from the winnie the pooh puppet show at yesterday's children's party - - - TTFN. TA-TA for NOW!
Monday, November 22, 2004
Monday, November 15, 2004
what's the meaning of this?
hmm. this weekend has been weird.
met my professors and suppose they are what i expected. of course, 2 of them, i still haven't met 2, but im sure somewhere along the way they will find a way to bite me in the ass.
anyhow, about this week. i find it hard to believe that i was one of the first to volunteer to digest the assigned oblicon cases. and to agree to digest everything in advance. and to have been able to (albeit a few minutes late due to a netcaf incident) submit my digests on the day assigned, and not days later as i had done in the past. AND, was able to make advance notes for oblicon. hah. can this be the start of my best-self lifestyle? (well, not the start but the path leading to it since i DID procrastinate quite a bit yesterday. but the trauma of yesterday is excuse enough i think)
the weekend was weird, and crazy. it started off okay, quite fun, really. we spent the afternoon eating contraband (well, for me at least) isaw, and chatting it up with tessa. hehehe. saying for everyone what everyone could not say. fun. a pseudo-party at a blockmate's house where i sat on a wooden swing and had a somewhat-deep-yet-somewhat-shallow conversation with gilbert and izzy. determined how important it was for me for a guy to be art-involved and cultured. (quite important surprisingly) but that swing was beautiful.
oh. and it was the debut of my awesome new pink pants! hehe. the ditz in me lives. and i thought it had died of suffocation underneath all the photocopied cases.
the saturday was the weird and painful part. while good-naturedly sorting through my clothes to give to yfc's rummage sale, my mother (GOD FORBID), decided she would go and try on everything i owned. and she fit into them!!! HORRORS! everyone is losing weight but me. she took away some 4 or 5 pairs of my best skinny pants and flares.
while i am happy that she is no longer in her MASTER SHOWMAN OUTFITS, (my mother has the most horrid fashion sense), i am not happy about the fact that it had to be at my (literally, physically, emotionally) expense. so now, she is out gallivanting in my pants and shoes, and wearing my bag, while i, am in a crummy net cafe sending files (in my fat pants) so everyone in the block can be secure in the fact that they do not have to study THAT hard for oblicon.
but who am i kidding, i am just bitching around because after a week of eating nothing but green beans and icky leaves, my mother, who has been eating pork and rice and everything i cannot have, has somehow managed to wedge herself into my pants and walked away with them. and i have gained 2 more freaking pounds.
my head has been pounding non-stop. i don't know what's more annoying - my mother (in an effort to calm me down because she fit into my clothes) insisting that i look pounds smaller (despite the fact that i GAINED more weight than i already carried, or her lupon of old biddies who insist on the same thing upon her bidding. there's a catch phrase. old biddies doing an old biddy's bidding. IN MY FREAKING JEANS.
ugh. my head is starting to hurt again. maybe its the hunger. maybe if i get hungry enough i will be able to eat my mother. then my jeans can hang in my closet in peace.
i think i am playing the part of the huge bitch today. whatthehell. no one better get in my way.
i have to go and eat my leafy lunch now.
met my professors and suppose they are what i expected. of course, 2 of them, i still haven't met 2, but im sure somewhere along the way they will find a way to bite me in the ass.
anyhow, about this week. i find it hard to believe that i was one of the first to volunteer to digest the assigned oblicon cases. and to agree to digest everything in advance. and to have been able to (albeit a few minutes late due to a netcaf incident) submit my digests on the day assigned, and not days later as i had done in the past. AND, was able to make advance notes for oblicon. hah. can this be the start of my best-self lifestyle? (well, not the start but the path leading to it since i DID procrastinate quite a bit yesterday. but the trauma of yesterday is excuse enough i think)
the weekend was weird, and crazy. it started off okay, quite fun, really. we spent the afternoon eating contraband (well, for me at least) isaw, and chatting it up with tessa. hehehe. saying for everyone what everyone could not say. fun. a pseudo-party at a blockmate's house where i sat on a wooden swing and had a somewhat-deep-yet-somewhat-shallow conversation with gilbert and izzy. determined how important it was for me for a guy to be art-involved and cultured. (quite important surprisingly) but that swing was beautiful.
oh. and it was the debut of my awesome new pink pants! hehe. the ditz in me lives. and i thought it had died of suffocation underneath all the photocopied cases.
the saturday was the weird and painful part. while good-naturedly sorting through my clothes to give to yfc's rummage sale, my mother (GOD FORBID), decided she would go and try on everything i owned. and she fit into them!!! HORRORS! everyone is losing weight but me. she took away some 4 or 5 pairs of my best skinny pants and flares.
while i am happy that she is no longer in her MASTER SHOWMAN OUTFITS, (my mother has the most horrid fashion sense), i am not happy about the fact that it had to be at my (literally, physically, emotionally) expense. so now, she is out gallivanting in my pants and shoes, and wearing my bag, while i, am in a crummy net cafe sending files (in my fat pants) so everyone in the block can be secure in the fact that they do not have to study THAT hard for oblicon.
but who am i kidding, i am just bitching around because after a week of eating nothing but green beans and icky leaves, my mother, who has been eating pork and rice and everything i cannot have, has somehow managed to wedge herself into my pants and walked away with them. and i have gained 2 more freaking pounds.
my head has been pounding non-stop. i don't know what's more annoying - my mother (in an effort to calm me down because she fit into my clothes) insisting that i look pounds smaller (despite the fact that i GAINED more weight than i already carried, or her lupon of old biddies who insist on the same thing upon her bidding. there's a catch phrase. old biddies doing an old biddy's bidding. IN MY FREAKING JEANS.
ugh. my head is starting to hurt again. maybe its the hunger. maybe if i get hungry enough i will be able to eat my mother. then my jeans can hang in my closet in peace.
i think i am playing the part of the huge bitch today. whatthehell. no one better get in my way.
i have to go and eat my leafy lunch now.
Wednesday, November 10, 2004
first day back in law school
| its been a while since i last wrote. ive been living more i suppose.
ahh. doing what i said i would do. contrary to my last post, this sembreak has been a very productive one for me. at least, i got to live quite well, and mind you, not vicariously through others this time. lists! i love making lists, and shall make an excuse of this post to do another one. things i have done this sembreak: block party and overnight at mel's batangas with the blockmates cebu, cagayan de oro, camiguin, and butuan with lorybeth bowling with the pyfp people organize my photos in albums and pretty frames gone on the blasted south beach diet. ---- ahh. a well spent sembreak if i may say so myself. im proud of myself for actually having pushed through with it this time. back on the first day. i lost my pencil case. :-( but aside from that, and the fact that ive been eating nothing but leaves for the past 6 days, it was a good first day. good teachers, well, sison and labitag, and an overall sense of well-being. i don't know for how long, but we will see. it's too bad i didnt get to meet with people i really really wanted to spend time with -- like bri, candice, chely, bon, and skipp. or loys and ana. but the good thing about my schedule is...i don't have saturday classes! FANTASTIC. hmm. need to go back to review now. more profound thoughts when i am no longer in sembreak mode. |
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