i seem to be saying holy cows a lot more often. and DEADS. maybe its because i miss deng. and everyone else. and im quite annoyed because phone has not AT ALL BEEN USEFUL since this friday. no texting, no calling. i wanna be annoyed but i cant. my dad forgot to pay eh. so till wednesday, medyo walang texting for me. i feel lost in this textless world.
hmm.
last night went out with my high school barkada for dinner. we ate at moomba and talking to them just got me thinking on how much we've changed since high school. funnily, i was the one who had changed the most. we were probably the most HOMOGENOUS barkada ever. we acted the same, dressed the same, liked the same things. i remember we talked about this one time when we went out to dinner with our friends from la salle, and how funny i thought it was that both of them were dressed in EXACTLY THE WAY THEY DID more than 5 years ago. what with their preppy 3/4 shirts and preppy cardigans. and me standing out in my indian guru garb over jeans. hehehe. nothing bad about it, just funny. i dont even remember when i began to dress this way. we were talking about their boyfriends and laughing about the fact that back in junior year, when we had a bet on who would get a boyfriend first, i was the girl with the most money on her. and now, am the only one without one. funny. and what feels great about it is that, IT'S OKAY!!! i like being alone like this now. i like that i just date everyone else around me. i like that i don't feel the need to be attached.
i'm not averse to the idea though. i just like that i'm not needing it right now.
i wanted to hug joanne yesterday when she began talking about how indispensable she thought he was. it was weird for me to see her that way eh.
and kathy changed quite a bit too. though not so much, but i always thought she was pretty perfect the way she was. bubbly and happy and easily pleased. i love the way she's like that.
early in the afternoon, had lunch with the block and found it quite amazing that i feel so attached to some of them alreasy. the truth is, thinking about not being with them is what makes me study. its them i will miss if ever i decide to leave law.
i feel like mel and i are sort of kindred. am just about as lost as her in this messed up world of law school.
and i feel like i want to take care of rosanne. she seems like her guard is always up kasi she's afraid that people are out to hurt her. i wish i could help her open up and see the goodness in people.
even my Über classmates who never miss a reading and who know our lessons by heart, i somehow feel attached to. i wish my mind was as predisposed to law as theirs were.
in the afternoon, i got a text from skipp asking me to go to an alumni meeting, which i couldn't go to, and to which i couldn't reply to. but i missed him too. sitting in starbucks and devising ways to make him stop smoking. i wish we could do that again.
it seems i should just change the column to PEOPLE I MISS AND WHAT I MISS ABOUT THEM. because now i started missing bri too. our talks and giggles over starbucks cuties and non-cuties. and our conversations when we were both just single and feeling as clueless as ever.
and another person i miss so much is loys. i remember the days when just seeing her would make me feel better already. i don't know if she knows that but she has that effect on me. now there are so many things i can't talk to her about anymore. kasi our worlds have become so detached from one another.
maybe it's just my old life i just miss. the days when i thought law school was where i was really headed, and where what i had in my head was always enough information to take to class. and where groups of friends could always be called upon for comfort food over great conversations.
sometimes, no, all the time, i wonder if this is ever worth it. i wish i knew the answers.
Sunday, June 27, 2004
Wednesday, June 23, 2004
my questions and some answers
conversation with pi
sophia: hi pi!
sophia:
Pi: ia girl!
Pi: howru doing? tapos na classes mo?
sophia: finished, but have to study for a 7pm study group
Pi: and this is a 5-minute break for you?
sophia: not naman 5 mins.
sophia: its a break before i start actually.
sophia: kauuwi ko lang.
sophia: first day to study home.
sophia: kasi sa lib masyado marami chismis
Pi: howru enjoying law?
sophia: its hard.
sophia: i question myself everyday
sophia: tipong, what am i doing here?
Pi: question, anong name nung med-student-turned-law-student na classmate mo?
sophia: its super hard for me, a chore to make myself study
Pi: kayang-kaya mo yan ia. as you told me yourself, you're in your element.
sophia: now am not so sure.
sophia:
sophia: parang, i keep setting myself up to fail. although, i havent pa naman.
sophia: but i get so lazy to read, kahit na alam ko i cant afford to slack off.
sophia: pero, sheer force na lang talaga ang nagpapaaral sa akin.
sophia: but it doesnt come naturally
Pi: give yourself time to adjust. galing ka pang bum mode e. same thing happened to me when i started work.
sophia: talaga?
sophia: im just worried kasi i feel somehow na i might be pushing myself towards something na i know i can only be mediocre at at best.
sophia: i lose sleep thinking about it, yet when i study hindi ko ma-feel na im in my element. parang, i feel so lost in all of this.
Pi: ia, i think you're thinking too far ahead. it's like meeting some guy for the first time and then worrying in your head about how many kids you'd want together after your wed.
Pi: este wedding.
Pi:
sophia: hmm.
sophia: ture.
Pi: you'll be fine.
sophia: sorry ha.
Pi: nuh frablem.
sophia: kasi i get pissed off seeing as to how some people revel in the pleasure and i can barely get by
Pi: e may mga taong ganyan talaga. hayaan mo na.
sophia: and then i think, law alone will not make me happy din naman.
sophia: i keep thinking it will lead me to be something else.
Pi: well, we're not usually just happy with one thing. find something else you can do alongside law that'll add to your happiness level.
Pi: besides, after much soul-searching out of the country, you came to decide on law. kaka-start mo pa lang naman. it's too early to make doomsday judgments about it already.
sophia: true.
sophia: thanks pi
sophia: youre helping me a lot already
sophia: btw, his name is vp palafox.
sophia: why?
Pi: ah. someone in aylc did that kasi ata. pero hindi siya yun.
Pi: some other name.
Pi: nagla-law na rin ngayon pero galing med ata.
sophia: ah, okay.
Pi: now, just breathe and give yourself a BIG HUG!
Pi:
sophia:
sophia: thanks for the words pi!
sophia: youve helped me a lot.
Pi: no problem ia. you've helped me through a lot of things too.
Pi: especially when i was down here at work.
sophia: no prob pi
conversation with rex
Romero: hi!
Romero: lurkier!
Romero: lurker!
sophia: lurkier?
sophia:
sophia: ano balita sayo?
sophia: bat ka busy?
Romero: homework
sophia: ah okay.
sophia: ako rin mag-aaral na in a while.
sophia: may tanong a ko sayo tsong
Romero: sige ba
sophia: pano ko malalaman na im where im supposed to be?
Romero: hahaha
Romero: that was kinda loaded
Romero: hmmm...
Romero: put it this way...
Romero: on one hand,
Romero: you never really know
Romero: on the other hand,
Romero: you'll know when you know
Romero: especially when you're RIGHT THERE
Romero: it's just up to you to summon the guts to stand up and go get it
Romero: be where you're supposed to be, i mean
Romero: did that make sense?
Romero: hahaha.
sophia: ganito na lang.
Romero: most probably i'm just as lost as you
sophia: kasi, araaw araw i question why im studying law/
sophia: hirap talaga ako.
sophia: parang wala sa loob ko mag-aral.
sophia: hindi ko alam if symptom ba yan na its not for me,
sophia: or naghahanap lang ako ng dahilan para maging tamad.
sophia: parang, i want to stay for the wrong reasons.
Romero: pwede pareho
Romero: we can't expect all of our activities
Romero: to "capture our imagination"
Romero: all the time
Romero: most often, inspiration is lost in the drudgery of the menial work
Romero: of getting to your goal
Romero: its like,
Romero: you know when you love the feeling of being atop a mountain?
Romero: seeing the sunrise amid nature's splendor?
Romero: but you curse under your breath while trekking that thorny trail on the way up?
sophia: tsong, nakikita mo ba ako dun?
sophia: minsan kasi ako hindi ko makita yung sarili ko dun
Romero: alam mo
Romero: you'd make a good lawyer
Romero: you're smart and articulate
Romero: come to think of it,
Romero: because you ARE amart and articulate
Romero: you'd make a good whatever-you'd-like-to-be
sophia: huwaw
sophia: salamat ha.
Romero: maybe you just have to finish SOMETHING
sophia: alam mo, ikaw talaga ang gusto ko kausap sa mga ganito.
sophia: pramis.
Romero: so you get to see yourself become the good something you worked for
Romero: if you keep on "looking around"
Romero: you might not get to finish anything at all
sophia: totoo.
Romero: paano ka magiging good-whatever niyan?
sophia: baka nga im just getting caught up in the workings of pressure.
sophia: minsan kasi pag nagtatanong ako sa tatay ko, nakikita ko na natatangahan siya sa akin eh
Romero: huh?
Romero: anong natatangahan siya sa iyo?
sophia: parang hindi niya maintindihan ano ang hindi ko maintindihan kasi simple lang yun
sophia: parang nagda-doubt siya as to whether im smart enough to become a lawyer
Romero: hahaha
sophia: tapos, ako rin nagda-doubt
Romero: ganito na lang
Romero: if you already knew what he did
Romero: shouldn't you have been a lawyer right now?
Romero:
sophia: daanin na lang ba natin sa pilosopohan
sophia: pero salamat ha.
Romero: hahaha
sophia: at least napag-iisipan ko.
Romero: not exactly
Romero: pero parang ganun na rin siguro
Romero: sige
Romero: to put it another way
sophia: nakakagulat kasi i always thought, when i was in new york, na mafifeel ko na i am in my element pag dating ko sa law school
Romero: tanga ka kapag hindi mo natutunan ang bagong bagay
sophia: tapos ngayon, parang hinahanap ko yung feeling na yun, tapos ala.
Romero: kahit paulit-ulit nang ipagawa sa iyo
Romero: pero,
sophia: pero siguro minsan, gaya ng sabi mo, kailangan mo kasi tapusin.
Romero: paano ka magiging tanga sa bagay na hindi mo alam?
Romero: kundi man, hindi mo naiintindihan as a lawyer should?
Romero: i think kaya nga aaralin mo e
Romero: para ma-polish sa iyo
Romero: i used to get into arguments with my "senpai" (senior student) here
Romero: parati siya noon, "ano ka ba, hindi mo pa alam yan?" (referring to my japanese)
Romero: i always retorted, "ito, akala mo hindi pumasok ng grade one-diretso kaagad ng college"
Romero: kasi kung "alam ko na ang japanese"
Romero: ba't ko pa aaralin?
Romero: diba?
Romero: magiging tanga ako kapag hindi ako nag-improve
Romero: ay, come to think of it...
Romero: tanga na anga siguro ako, ehehehe
Romero:
sophia: ahehehe.
sophia: hindi naman.
sophia: ikaw pa.
Romero: "grade 1" pa rin ata ang japanese ko eh
Romero: hihihihi
God gave me such wonderful friends.
i will attempt to study now i think. pray for me!
sophia: hi pi!
sophia:
Pi: ia girl!
Pi: howru doing? tapos na classes mo?
sophia: finished, but have to study for a 7pm study group
Pi: and this is a 5-minute break for you?
sophia: not naman 5 mins.
sophia: its a break before i start actually.
sophia: kauuwi ko lang.
sophia: first day to study home.
sophia: kasi sa lib masyado marami chismis
Pi: howru enjoying law?
sophia: its hard.
sophia: i question myself everyday
sophia: tipong, what am i doing here?
Pi: question, anong name nung med-student-turned-law-student na classmate mo?
sophia: its super hard for me, a chore to make myself study
Pi: kayang-kaya mo yan ia. as you told me yourself, you're in your element.
sophia: now am not so sure.
sophia:
sophia: parang, i keep setting myself up to fail. although, i havent pa naman.
sophia: but i get so lazy to read, kahit na alam ko i cant afford to slack off.
sophia: pero, sheer force na lang talaga ang nagpapaaral sa akin.
sophia: but it doesnt come naturally
Pi: give yourself time to adjust. galing ka pang bum mode e. same thing happened to me when i started work.
sophia: talaga?
sophia: im just worried kasi i feel somehow na i might be pushing myself towards something na i know i can only be mediocre at at best.
sophia: i lose sleep thinking about it, yet when i study hindi ko ma-feel na im in my element. parang, i feel so lost in all of this.
Pi: ia, i think you're thinking too far ahead. it's like meeting some guy for the first time and then worrying in your head about how many kids you'd want together after your wed.
Pi: este wedding.
Pi:
sophia: hmm.
sophia: ture.
Pi: you'll be fine.
sophia: sorry ha.
Pi: nuh frablem.
sophia: kasi i get pissed off seeing as to how some people revel in the pleasure and i can barely get by
Pi: e may mga taong ganyan talaga. hayaan mo na.
sophia: and then i think, law alone will not make me happy din naman.
sophia: i keep thinking it will lead me to be something else.
Pi: well, we're not usually just happy with one thing. find something else you can do alongside law that'll add to your happiness level.
Pi: besides, after much soul-searching out of the country, you came to decide on law. kaka-start mo pa lang naman. it's too early to make doomsday judgments about it already.
sophia: true.
sophia: thanks pi
sophia: youre helping me a lot already
sophia: btw, his name is vp palafox.
sophia: why?
Pi: ah. someone in aylc did that kasi ata. pero hindi siya yun.
Pi: some other name.
Pi: nagla-law na rin ngayon pero galing med ata.
sophia: ah, okay.
Pi: now, just breathe and give yourself a BIG HUG!
Pi:
sophia:
sophia: thanks for the words pi!
sophia: youve helped me a lot.
Pi: no problem ia. you've helped me through a lot of things too.
Pi: especially when i was down here at work.
sophia: no prob pi
conversation with rex
Romero: hi!
Romero: lurkier!
Romero: lurker!
sophia: lurkier?
sophia:
sophia: ano balita sayo?
sophia: bat ka busy?
Romero: homework
sophia: ah okay.
sophia: ako rin mag-aaral na in a while.
sophia: may tanong a ko sayo tsong
Romero: sige ba
sophia: pano ko malalaman na im where im supposed to be?
Romero: hahaha
Romero: that was kinda loaded
Romero: hmmm...
Romero: put it this way...
Romero: on one hand,
Romero: you never really know
Romero: on the other hand,
Romero: you'll know when you know
Romero: especially when you're RIGHT THERE
Romero: it's just up to you to summon the guts to stand up and go get it
Romero: be where you're supposed to be, i mean
Romero: did that make sense?
Romero: hahaha.
sophia: ganito na lang.
Romero: most probably i'm just as lost as you
sophia: kasi, araaw araw i question why im studying law/
sophia: hirap talaga ako.
sophia: parang wala sa loob ko mag-aral.
sophia: hindi ko alam if symptom ba yan na its not for me,
sophia: or naghahanap lang ako ng dahilan para maging tamad.
sophia: parang, i want to stay for the wrong reasons.
Romero: pwede pareho
Romero: we can't expect all of our activities
Romero: to "capture our imagination"
Romero: all the time
Romero: most often, inspiration is lost in the drudgery of the menial work
Romero: of getting to your goal
Romero: its like,
Romero: you know when you love the feeling of being atop a mountain?
Romero: seeing the sunrise amid nature's splendor?
Romero: but you curse under your breath while trekking that thorny trail on the way up?
sophia: tsong, nakikita mo ba ako dun?
sophia: minsan kasi ako hindi ko makita yung sarili ko dun
Romero: alam mo
Romero: you'd make a good lawyer
Romero: you're smart and articulate
Romero: come to think of it,
Romero: because you ARE amart and articulate
Romero: you'd make a good whatever-you'd-like-to-be
sophia: huwaw
sophia: salamat ha.
Romero: maybe you just have to finish SOMETHING
sophia: alam mo, ikaw talaga ang gusto ko kausap sa mga ganito.
sophia: pramis.
Romero: so you get to see yourself become the good something you worked for
Romero: if you keep on "looking around"
Romero: you might not get to finish anything at all
sophia: totoo.
Romero: paano ka magiging good-whatever niyan?
sophia: baka nga im just getting caught up in the workings of pressure.
sophia: minsan kasi pag nagtatanong ako sa tatay ko, nakikita ko na natatangahan siya sa akin eh
Romero: huh?
Romero: anong natatangahan siya sa iyo?
sophia: parang hindi niya maintindihan ano ang hindi ko maintindihan kasi simple lang yun
sophia: parang nagda-doubt siya as to whether im smart enough to become a lawyer
Romero: hahaha
sophia: tapos, ako rin nagda-doubt
Romero: ganito na lang
Romero: if you already knew what he did
Romero: shouldn't you have been a lawyer right now?
Romero:
sophia: daanin na lang ba natin sa pilosopohan
sophia: pero salamat ha.
Romero: hahaha
sophia: at least napag-iisipan ko.
Romero: not exactly
Romero: pero parang ganun na rin siguro
Romero: sige
Romero: to put it another way
sophia: nakakagulat kasi i always thought, when i was in new york, na mafifeel ko na i am in my element pag dating ko sa law school
Romero: tanga ka kapag hindi mo natutunan ang bagong bagay
sophia: tapos ngayon, parang hinahanap ko yung feeling na yun, tapos ala.
Romero: kahit paulit-ulit nang ipagawa sa iyo
Romero: pero,
sophia: pero siguro minsan, gaya ng sabi mo, kailangan mo kasi tapusin.
Romero: paano ka magiging tanga sa bagay na hindi mo alam?
Romero: kundi man, hindi mo naiintindihan as a lawyer should?
Romero: i think kaya nga aaralin mo e
Romero: para ma-polish sa iyo
Romero: i used to get into arguments with my "senpai" (senior student) here
Romero: parati siya noon, "ano ka ba, hindi mo pa alam yan?" (referring to my japanese)
Romero: i always retorted, "ito, akala mo hindi pumasok ng grade one-diretso kaagad ng college"
Romero: kasi kung "alam ko na ang japanese"
Romero: ba't ko pa aaralin?
Romero: diba?
Romero: magiging tanga ako kapag hindi ako nag-improve
Romero: ay, come to think of it...
Romero: tanga na anga siguro ako, ehehehe
Romero:
sophia: ahehehe.
sophia: hindi naman.
sophia: ikaw pa.
Romero: "grade 1" pa rin ata ang japanese ko eh
Romero: hihihihi
God gave me such wonderful friends.
i will attempt to study now i think. pray for me!
Monday, June 14, 2004
things i cannot do as a fat girl
one week after starting law school, and one week of my mom obviously seeing that i haven't been going to the gym, i have come across these things that i will never be able to do as a fat girl, according to the decrees my mom has set out:
walk into a room without being it being said that:
"ay, ang laki niya..."
"alam mo, maganda ka sana..."
"anong nangyari???"
"o ito, napabayaan sa kusina!"
"ayan, panganay ko. ang taba diba?"
according to my mom, to finish law school and become a lawyer. in her exact words,
"anong klaseng abogado ka if hindi mo man lang mapapayat ang sarili mo?"
and
"mabuti nga sigurong bumagsak ka at matanggal sa up nang hindi mo gamiting excuse ang pag-aaral para hindi mag-exercise."
look into a mirror without feeling like i've somehow killed myself.
look into a mirror without thinking in the back of my head how someone might be cringing at the sight of me.
introduce my friends to my mother without her telling me in front of them how fat i am, or without her trying to convince my friend to tell me how grotesque i actually look.
buy clothes that i really want.
genuinely feel pretty.
wear a bikini. ever.
walk confidently into a room and actually feel like i belong.
live, eat, and breathe.
i just wish it didn't matter that i was fat. even if only for just one day. it takes away all of the joy im supposed to be having.
all of my happy memories this week have somehow left me.
walk into a room without being it being said that:
"ay, ang laki niya..."
"alam mo, maganda ka sana..."
"anong nangyari???"
"o ito, napabayaan sa kusina!"
"ayan, panganay ko. ang taba diba?"
according to my mom, to finish law school and become a lawyer. in her exact words,
"anong klaseng abogado ka if hindi mo man lang mapapayat ang sarili mo?"
and
"mabuti nga sigurong bumagsak ka at matanggal sa up nang hindi mo gamiting excuse ang pag-aaral para hindi mag-exercise."
look into a mirror without feeling like i've somehow killed myself.
look into a mirror without thinking in the back of my head how someone might be cringing at the sight of me.
introduce my friends to my mother without her telling me in front of them how fat i am, or without her trying to convince my friend to tell me how grotesque i actually look.
buy clothes that i really want.
genuinely feel pretty.
wear a bikini. ever.
walk confidently into a room and actually feel like i belong.
live, eat, and breathe.
i just wish it didn't matter that i was fat. even if only for just one day. it takes away all of the joy im supposed to be having.
all of my happy memories this week have somehow left me.
Saturday, June 12, 2004
rollercoaster
gawd.
what a week. literally up down up down. i feel a bit dizzy from all the spinning and twisting and turning.
this whole week, i have:
sunday:
studied more than i have in my entire 17 years of studying.
cried super hard about all my lost saturdays and gimik days and spontaneous lunches with
long missed friends
called out to all the saints for moral support and guidance
monday:
survived my first day of recitation without being called
assumed that my studying habits were okay enough, and thus deduced that it would be okay
for me to go to the office and just girlishly stare and giggle at my crush for the
duration of the afternoon
cursed myself a million times for not checking the syllabus before i flirted like my 13
year old self
crammed like crazy and pushed back tears at discovering that i did not have the stuff i
was supposed to be studying.
tuesday:
survived my second day of recitation without actually being called.
proved my theory that teachers call on those who do not look like they know the answer by
pretending that i did
rejoiced at finding out that my terror prof would be leaving the country for an entire month and that we would only be left with reading assignments
got visited twice by two different groups of friends who proved to me that i was not crazy
as i thought myself to be.
thanked God i had wonderful friends.
had dinner with good friends at jack's loft in eastwood, starting a string of eastwood
outings which would prompt me to call myself eastwood queen.
finished the 13 week clp. mygosh! 13 weeks!
wednesday:
got elected chancellor of freshman block b. homaygod. people actually think i am
responsible and can command respect from my peers.
went out unofficially with an old college crush. to a block gimmick in jack's loft (ulit) - unofficially meaning he picked me up and brought me home without me having to ask him to.
nag-desisyon mag-isa. shiyet.
fought off super daming questions as to why magkasama kami. asked myself the same stuff.
anunangabaito?
thursday:
went to first official execom meeting of freshman block b.
hosted at my house (san pa nga ba?) the first block night of our class.
skipped studying yet again.
friday:
attempted to study for other subjects (to my dismay) in the library.
questioned yet again, "gusto ko nga ba ang college crush na ito?" pakshet.
answered that question with a new question: "eh bakit feeling ko maloloka ako with
chris??? ssshhh... he's quite a big crush pala." (ayos lang sabihin ang name kasi he
will never get to read my blog ever.
drove myself crazy trying to see why chris was sad when we were in libis (again, i know)
fallen asleep thinking of him. (siguro nga hindi ko gusto yung isa if i can think of him
this way).
saturday:
attempted to study (finished us vs. ah chong! yehey! pero yun lang)
discovered for myself what a crooked process the admission board utilizes sa college of
law. screw them!
cried while rambling aimlessly in national. (my dad is so mean.)
began plotting how to overthrow those who think theyre so freakin' wonderful just because they werent interviewed. evill......ha. criminally liable because of the intent. but it's in self-defense! (geez. how cases affect me so.)
i just want to say that, jampacked as my life now may seem, i miss my old life, my old friends, my old dad (who didnt see me as a stupid law student).
but i will grow into it. if only to prove everyone wrong. the heat is on i suppose.
what a week. literally up down up down. i feel a bit dizzy from all the spinning and twisting and turning.
this whole week, i have:
sunday:
studied more than i have in my entire 17 years of studying.
cried super hard about all my lost saturdays and gimik days and spontaneous lunches with
long missed friends
called out to all the saints for moral support and guidance
monday:
survived my first day of recitation without being called
assumed that my studying habits were okay enough, and thus deduced that it would be okay
for me to go to the office and just girlishly stare and giggle at my crush for the
duration of the afternoon
cursed myself a million times for not checking the syllabus before i flirted like my 13
year old self
crammed like crazy and pushed back tears at discovering that i did not have the stuff i
was supposed to be studying.
tuesday:
survived my second day of recitation without actually being called.
proved my theory that teachers call on those who do not look like they know the answer by
pretending that i did
rejoiced at finding out that my terror prof would be leaving the country for an entire month and that we would only be left with reading assignments
got visited twice by two different groups of friends who proved to me that i was not crazy
as i thought myself to be.
thanked God i had wonderful friends.
had dinner with good friends at jack's loft in eastwood, starting a string of eastwood
outings which would prompt me to call myself eastwood queen.
finished the 13 week clp. mygosh! 13 weeks!
wednesday:
got elected chancellor of freshman block b. homaygod. people actually think i am
responsible and can command respect from my peers.
went out unofficially with an old college crush. to a block gimmick in jack's loft (ulit) - unofficially meaning he picked me up and brought me home without me having to ask him to.
nag-desisyon mag-isa. shiyet.
fought off super daming questions as to why magkasama kami. asked myself the same stuff.
anunangabaito?
thursday:
went to first official execom meeting of freshman block b.
hosted at my house (san pa nga ba?) the first block night of our class.
skipped studying yet again.
friday:
attempted to study for other subjects (to my dismay) in the library.
questioned yet again, "gusto ko nga ba ang college crush na ito?" pakshet.
answered that question with a new question: "eh bakit feeling ko maloloka ako with
chris??? ssshhh... he's quite a big crush pala." (ayos lang sabihin ang name kasi he
will never get to read my blog ever.
drove myself crazy trying to see why chris was sad when we were in libis (again, i know)
fallen asleep thinking of him. (siguro nga hindi ko gusto yung isa if i can think of him
this way).
saturday:
attempted to study (finished us vs. ah chong! yehey! pero yun lang)
discovered for myself what a crooked process the admission board utilizes sa college of
law. screw them!
cried while rambling aimlessly in national. (my dad is so mean.)
began plotting how to overthrow those who think theyre so freakin' wonderful just because they werent interviewed. evill......ha. criminally liable because of the intent. but it's in self-defense! (geez. how cases affect me so.)
i just want to say that, jampacked as my life now may seem, i miss my old life, my old friends, my old dad (who didnt see me as a stupid law student).
but i will grow into it. if only to prove everyone wrong. the heat is on i suppose.
Wednesday, June 02, 2004
ear to ear
i am an explosion of happy elements. i AM!
im so happy today. so giggly and gibberishy.
this might as well be me, smiling with all my might.
THANK YOU GOD! for bringing such a happy day to me.
how do i break it down?
let's start by one of the most important things...
I AM OFFICIALLY A UP LAW SCHOOL FRESHMAN TODAY!!! finished enrolling, and armed with my trusty form 5.
next, my block is fantastic! i think...these four years will be a blast. i think, God makes such interesting people.
i just feel so blessed!
great clp, great one to one, great worship. great conversations!
with my eyes closed...i was mentally hugging everyone. Candice! Aistar! Chely! Gail! Chinka! the Muslims! EVERYONE! God!
because we are all brothers and sisters in God's love!
SSSSSOOOOO MANY THINGS TO THANK GOD FOR! SUPER!!!
its good to lie down on your bed, put your head on your pillow and know that everything is A-okay? Ü
God is looking out after US!
may all of you sleep soundly, snug in God's great big hug Ü
im so happy today. so giggly and gibberishy.
this might as well be me, smiling with all my might.
THANK YOU GOD! for bringing such a happy day to me.
how do i break it down?
let's start by one of the most important things...
I AM OFFICIALLY A UP LAW SCHOOL FRESHMAN TODAY!!! finished enrolling, and armed with my trusty form 5.
next, my block is fantastic! i think...these four years will be a blast. i think, God makes such interesting people.
i just feel so blessed!
great clp, great one to one, great worship. great conversations!
with my eyes closed...i was mentally hugging everyone. Candice! Aistar! Chely! Gail! Chinka! the Muslims! EVERYONE! God!
because we are all brothers and sisters in God's love!
SSSSSOOOOO MANY THINGS TO THANK GOD FOR! SUPER!!!
its good to lie down on your bed, put your head on your pillow and know that everything is A-okay? Ü
God is looking out after US!
may all of you sleep soundly, snug in God's great big hug Ü
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